I've been lurking here for a while and enjoying the stories. Some surprisingly high quality writing can be found here! Well done, fellow perverts.
Anyway, this story is 100% true and un-embellished. (Unlike some on here I could point to...ahem.) It may not be quite as entertaining as I could make it, but this is the sub for true stories, and I've saved this one in the proverbial wank bank for years (there's a Proverb about the wank bank, right?), so thought I'd share.