[F]riend with benefits gets a pixie haircut, [M]ake love all night after dry spell. | 2016

It had been two years since I had gotten legitimately laid. A terrible breakup, a bit of depression and a whole lot of “distract myself with work”created the perfect one two punch of involuntary celibacy. At 27 I lived with 4 other roommates in a five room duplex on the second floor of a two floor apartment building, coincidently we were all guys, some worked at the local hospital as researchers while I worked in creative. It was a pretty sweet pad, we all made decent money so for a bunch of dude’s in their mid tweeties, we had some pretty sweet amenities, which you would assume, would attract non-residents to want to come hang at our place but the reality was that a bunch of medical academics are the least socially attractive people you would choose to spend any day of the week with. The room’s layout we’re awful, the doors and barriers were so thin you could hear everyone snoring or jerking off when nature called. Taking a shit required one to blast some music.

The living situation wasn’t ideal but it was cheap and close to work. Anyway, on the first floor lived five women in their late twenties and for reason's unknown to me, hated all my roommates. No one every told me what the beef was about. (I was a craigslist find) It was just unfortunate because I wanted to make friends with the neighbors but the ladies just lumped me into the group of “upstairs assholes.” Until Karen moved in.

I was outside smoking a joint when I saw her, she was petite, dirty blond with shoulder length hair. She had some birds tattooed on her neck and a woodland animal on her arm. My instant reaction wow, she’s cute and cool. She went outside and lit herself a cigarette, she was wearing a yellow cotton dress and looked pretty spectacular and sure of herself. I introduce myself before her new roommates can spew some vitriol of how “awful” we are. I was gonna get ahead of their animosity. I asked her what her fav drink was and bought her a bottle of vodka as a welcome to the building present.

boom. friends.

She had just moved into town from a city two hours away, she worked at a warehouse doing their books was into indie rock and punk shows and grew up on a healthy diet of pop punk and disco fries. Oh I was determined to be buddies although I found out she was only twenty and while I slightly hesitated, I shook it off because she just carried herself so well. Ill be honest…I did not want to fuck her. I was just so excited to find someone who was into the same shit I was into.

And we spent about three weeks just hanging out, we would go to the city museum where they would have NPR sponsored bands play and drink wine and nom on cheese and baguettes. She grew up in the suburbs so was limited to the culture of her small town so I introduced her to the city’s diverse flavor. Late night street food, fancy new restaurants and pop ups, I was happy to pay for things since I knew how much she made at her job and the higher ups at the companies I worked for overpaid me to try to keep me loyal. Karen was great company because she was so genuinely interested in trying new things with me and we found the same things funny and were in awe of the same things that took our breath away. We were fast friends.

Then something changed.

One Sunday she said she wanted to get a haircut, change up her look, I recommended a place that I use for one of our projects. I knew the owner and was assured Karen would be taken care of, so I dropped her off and met another friend at a bar across the street. Two hours passed shooting the shit with Wilbur when this stunner just walks through the door. She looked like a bright blond Audrey Hepburn with short pixie hair. She was wearing an adorable romper that accented her curbs. Then I noticed the neck tattoo as she confidently walked towards us with a charming smile. “Hey” “Hi, Im _____” She giggled and took a sip of my beer. “Holy shit Karen?” “What you think?” “Umm You look amazing. WHAT!?”

My jaw hit the floor. It’s like a veil was lifted and this girl I had been hanging out with for weeks suddenly turned into the most stunning person I’d ever seen. Wilbur thought we were fucking around until he saw on my eyes “leave us alone please” He grinned and excused himself.

We said goodbyes and I texted my plans for that night that I was going to cancel. I asked Karen if she wanted to go see a movie at the single screen theatre in the neighborhood and she said yes. It was great but I swear I was so tense the entire night. We watched some Apatow comedy which seemed funny but I couldn’t stop watching Karen laugh, I never noticed her dimples and how long her neck was. The short hair was driving me crazy.

We walked back to my place and I didn’t want the night to end so I asked if she wanted to hang out a bit more over wine and netflix. We were about thirty minutes into a movie when she snuggled up close on the bed. (I have a small screen on my desk and just sit on the bed and watch…like many times before but this time was different.) My dick got hard. My heart beat started racing and Im pretty sure she noticed, she kept burrowing her head against my chest. “Oh someone’s came up to say hello.” “Sorry. ha” She looks at me and smiles. I look at her lips. Which was enough of a cue for her to reach up and kiss me. HOLY SHIT FIREWORKS MOTHER FUCKER ITS HAPPENING. I kissed her hard. This was real and happening and I was so fucking excited. What I didn’t expect was Karen straight up grabbed my dick and started stroking it through my pants. What Kind of Karma was I owed that I finally got to live a real life porno? This doesnt happens to me, especially guys like me. Im south east asian. Im not the leading man, I don’t slay bitches. Up until Karen, I’ve had one long term relationship and that bitch was crazy. This isn’t an attempt at self deprecating humor , I just wanted to frame how fucking excited I was and why I was in such a state of disbelief.

She kissed me harder, I kissed back, then I went for her neck. I went straight for her bird tattoo and bit just a little bit which I could tell she really liked. This prompted for her to snake her hand through my pants to grip my dick. She pushed me down onto the bed and looked me in the eyes. She pulled her self up on her knees while pulling my pants down my knee. She took a look at my less than average cock (Im being honest) into her hand again and put her lips right on the head before swirling it with her tongue. I could feel her inhale through her nose and in a millisecond wrap her lips around my dick and went down like a fucking scuba diver until my dick hit the back of her throat. She made herself gag and I thought HOLY CHRIST THIS WOMAN IS GOD. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and she held her self there till she had to come up for air and proceed to suck the shit out of my cock. I have to take this moment to say Thank you, very much Karen’s ex Bf. Thank you for whatever you did to inspire this woman to have this ability. Obviously, it’s all her but whatever. Karen worked on my cock with vigor and love. She really loves to suck dick. She started licking my balls until she would take it into her mouth then work her way back up to my dick, inhale and let me feel the back of her throat all over again well…

It took about Four minutes until I was about ready to cum. I said I was coming…she held on and sucked harder till I blasted into her fuck mouth and she drank all my cum. She cleaned me up with her mouth and kissed the area around my dick. I had to return the favor so I kicked off my pants, gave her a peck on the lips (because not yet) and threw her on the bed. She laughed.I helped her out of her dress to reveal her lace black underwear. She had this quote tattooed under one of her breast.. God she was so sexy and hot. I helped roll her panties off and there before me was a gorgeous pussy. She was shaved clean and by the feel of it, recently. I started kissing her left tit, making sure to gently get her nipples going, I kissed her tattoo again and kissed my way to her belly button. By this point Karen was pushing my head down towards her sex and I wanted her to wait just a little but more. I kissed the inside of her thigh, brush by nose a bit on her pussy before kissing the other side. I’d then hover over pussy making sure I breathed on the slit. I swear she was edging her ass closer to me, pulling me closer with her left leg. Bitch you wait a sec. I kissed and liked the outside of pussy while pushing the flesh around her clit. I would open her up blow a little bit of air then push. She’s squirming at this point and I decide to put her out of her misery and crash my tongue on her clit. She grabbed my hair and I started sucking and flicking the shit out of clit. She moaned and yelped “fuck” Which was cue for me to slide my pointer finger inside her moistening pussy and push up behind her clit. I swear my hand got soaked. I sucked on her pussy and changed the movement of my tongue flicks. She was straight up moaning. I could hear my roommates turn up the tv in the living-room. They were getting it all. I pushed two fingers into her and aggressively finger fucked her till she raised her hip off the bed which encouraged me to lick suck and flick harder. She came in waves. My face soaked, she started pushing my head away but I know she’s sensitive know so I gave her a nice push back and at this point she might as well have splashed a bucket of water on my face. Out of breath I kissed her hard, I could see the waves hitting her hard. My dick was back in action which was great she demanded I fuck her. I guided my cock to her pussy and push. Her pussy farted. I could hear the roommates giggling at this point. Children I swear. After a few pushes the quaffing stopped and I pounded her with vigor. I held her ankles to make sure I didn’t slip too far out. after about two minutes, I started playing with her clit with my right hand her posture pivoted to the side and her eyes, determined, demanded not to stop. Five or Six strokes in and she came again. My god it felt great as her pussy just clamped on my dick and pushed agains all that flesh, She grabbed hold of my as she came wave after wave and i started moving my hip in a bit of a circle eight. After a moment she calmed down and I told her to flip over. I put her on her knees then slid it back in. She fell onto her elbows as I fucked her from behind. My god. Her ass was glorious. This white girl with a black girls booty. I lasted 2 minutes. I came on her back and we fell into a heap. She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed her. “That was fun” she said “Umm yea” I replied. But then I looked up…my door was partially open… Fuck. Im pretty sure those assholes watched. She laughed. I got up slammed the door. We cuddled, smoked a joint, fell asleep and fucked again in the middle of the night.

That started our summer of friends with benefits.

It had a shitty ending but that’s cuz I turned out to be a shitty person. That’s another story.