What watching sissy hypnosis has done to me over the years... [MM] | 2016

I think I first came across sissy hypnos a few years ago when I was 16, and the very first time I watched a hypnosis video, I thought it was really disgusting stupid; I mean, how could this convert me into a sissy? But then I chanced upon them more and more, and the more I watched, the more I got into it. I started out simple - I stole and dressed up in my aunt’s and my sister's panties and bras while listening to feminization clips.

Eventually at some point, I dabbed into the anal training and BBC content and things started to go bad (or good :p) from there onwards. I started playing with my boipussy and nipples more and more when I masturbated, and started out fucking myself with phallic objects. I didn't get my first dildo until much later, so I started out using a banana or cucumber; sometimes I got so horny I couldn’t control myself. Then, I got into chastity hypnos and the limp conditioning hypnos, until I can't even get hard without thinking about cocks, I would be able to cum while limp just by rubbing my little clit. Truth be told, I was scared of what I was becoming, but i couldn't stop. Every time I wanted to quit, I just kept coming back. It just felt so good to "sin" in a way you know? It's kind of hard to describe the thrill and sexual arousal you feel from this. Things got worse a month ago, until the point where I couldn't think about anything else besides cock; I felt like I was in heat the whole time, like I was literally going crazy. I would have wet dreams about being abducted in some way, by a whole group of dominant muscular men, who then proceed to use me in every single orifice almost like this: https://imgur.com/a/Tx0bV They would then blindfold and tie me up with my head held down and ass up, and harness my mouth so it's always open. They would then repeatedly shove their cocks in and out of both of my holes, and breed me all day long, cum deep down my throat and stuff a butt plug into my ass at night so the cum doesn't leak out of my ass - then repeat the same thing over again the next day until my ass becomes like this: http://imgur.com/a/2aXRA

I was honestly getting really scared of where everything was going - so I decided I had to stop, but I decided to go out with one last stand. I posted an ad on Craigslist, and eventually found this east European hunk with a huge and super thick 9 inch cock, and I just went over to his place one night. That in itself is a long story, but that was my first time ever taking a real cock up my boipussy. To put it simply, that experience was intoxicating. He fucked me all night long into the early morning, and literally treated me like a cocksleeve. It felt degrading to be almost treated as an object, but the more degrading the better it felt. In the end, before I left, I plugged myself up so all the loads he dumped inside of me wouldn't leak out on my way back home - and I never felt more turned on in my life. When I got back, I let it leak out of my still twitching boipussy onto the ground, and my brain literally started screaming "EAT IT!!!" and I just went on all fours and lapped it off the ground. It felt so stimulating to do it, but when the urges died down, I felt so humiliated and disgusted at myself.

The reality of everything that has happened only really hit me recently, and only then did I realize I changed from a straight male to a cum-eating, anal-loving sissy in the past 5 years. I really, really want to stop, but I just can't myself everytime - at this point I feel like there's already no giving back. I find it almost impossible to even masturbate and cum without having something stuffed up my ass, thinking about cocks and cum, and I rarely get hard even when I'm turned on. My boipussy also became so sensitive that I can easily cum hands free without touching myself. More recently, I got into humiliation and exhibitionism, I exposed myself to a few people and started posting more of my 'experiences' online.

Sometimes I'm scared of what I'm becoming, but other times I embrace myself and feel like this is just who I was meant to be, it honestly gets really confusing at times, almost like there's like an illusionary image of who I am. But, there's one thing I'm sure of that's very real, and that's the pleasure I get from being a sissy. Well, that was my journey, and I figured I'd share. Thoughts? Feel free to pm me directly as well, be it questions, comments or abuse, and I'll try my best to get back to everyone - well...right after my playdate with my dildo ;)