That time I hate-fucked my first girlfriend during a gangbang [MFMMMMMMMM] | 2016

I. I have lived a life a lot of people wouldn't believe. I grew up in a suburb in Ohio. I've done so many freaky sexual things in life, and most people who don't know me in that context would never guess. Honestly, I don't want people to know. But..just saying, they'd never guess I've had FMFs, FFMFs, been to swing clubs, shared out my girl to other men, been into BDSM and various types of roleplay, had sex with my friend's mom, and just tons of naughty things with people from both the internet and IRL.

Most people wouldn't believe, that growing up in a lower-middle class suburb, that I have the non-sexual war stories that I have to tell either.

<edit: I removed a chunk of not-relevant shit>

Ok on to the meat of the post. I.. I'm going to leave off ages here. But it was during formative years for me. Lets leave it at that. There was this girl down several blocks from where I grew up. We were never close. But when I had birthday parties in elementary school, she and her parents were always there, and vice versa. Years had passed. And somewhere along the line we are hanging out... her, her friends, me, my friends. I had never had a girlfriend before. I had kissed a girl once and not even a girl i was particularly proud that i kissed either. That was it. Looking back at my entire life - I could've been such a pimp growing up. But I was sweet, romantic, from 13 on I just wanted someone to love. I was fiercely loyal and as a kid I wasn't interested in dating around, though there were some short lived wild phases. Romantically though, I was insecure, sweet, the quintessential "nice guy" (and yes, even many of the faults that come with that). I was the flowering buying, poetry writing, hour long phone calls every night, "no you hangup, no YOU hangup" type of guy.

So we ended up dating. It was during the summer. At the time, my best friend and I were inseparable. Looking back, I have many fond memories of all the things me and him used to do, but all in all he was an emotionally abusive asshole. I don't think he was ever conscious of his own motives. I think he was painfully insecure, always wanted to fit in with cooler kids than someone like me (who he'd act like he was embarrassed to be around when others came around). He'd always talk big about the women he'd get (that he never got), or the career path he'd have (which he never got). He always expected people to be impressed b/c his mom got him a rad skateboard, or a guitar, or eventually a car with a bumping system in it. Never because of anything he accomplished or by some endearing personality trait. Needless to say, even back then, i had a lot of resentment built up towards this guy.

I don't know whether it was his home situation, which i won't elaborate on, but he was dick that had to have someone around to constantly take down a peg, to make himself feel better. And that doormat of a person was me, for years.

So all summer, it was me, him and her. Me and this guy were nothing but trouble. We were already pack a day smokers, drinkers, pot smokers, vandals, thieves. You name it. Well after about a month, the three of us were together one day. We had stolen liquor out of my parents cabinet. And we were getting shit faced, watching tv shows him/I recorded on VHS and just in general hanging out. We leave his house before his mother gets home to go off in the woods to smoke. We're out there, starting little fires for laughs, smoking cigarettes, joking around and eventually it's time for me to go home. In fact, I've waited too long. Something about the energy of it all felt off. Felt wrong. But i had to go or my Dad was going to kill me.

I hop on my bike and I peddle off. Leaving them two, there. The further I get away, the more I know what's happening. I know she's cheating on me. But..oddly, in a platonic way, it felt like HE was cheating on me. Make sense? At a certain point, I cant take it anymore. I turn around. I peddle back as fast as I can, and I catch exactly what my intuition told me.

I cried my way home. He followed me out of some sense of guilt. I was his one true friend in the world and I think for a moment it dawned on him how much he hurt someone else, but more than anything, I think he was scared to be a lone. For hours, him and I fought, cried, screamed at each other in front of my parents house. It was a scene. But somehow .. somehow we made up.

But yet, somehow.. he didn't get the fucking memo that even though I was done with her, I didn't really want him messing with her either. Not after all this. But nevertheless, there was a house party, alcohol and drugs and all ...and he ate her out in the living room there in front of everyone. As time went on, i heard stories about her all the time. She was becoming the neighborhood slut. When I say I'm attracted to "sluts", I don't mean to the level this girl went to. This girl had no self restraint for anything higher than the here-and-now. Even lifelong swingers would tell you, this girl had zero self respect.

A few weeks after the pussy eating incident, we're hanging out at a friends house. An older friend with a truck goes ot the store to pick us up some smokes. He sees her and a friend on the street and literally tells her if she wants dick to come on up to our house, and drove off. And wouldn't you know? She walked there in the summer heat to get what was promised her? I was over it at this point, I found this all to be hilarious.

Then I ended up on a 2 year long relationship. My "best friend" and i kinda stopped hanging out. He was jealous of all the time I spent with her. He started telling me things like.. "i'm going to be X when i grow up and you're going to be stuck at your job" (first job i ever had) "all your life". Or "I used to think you were lucky scoring that girl, but that's the best you're ever going to have".

When that relationship ended, I hadn't spoken to him really in 6 months or so, but I made it a point to take a girl he was interested in. I'd flirt, hit on her, and eventually we dated. But all in all I didn't like her. I just hated him. I loved hanging out with her, him and others and rubbing it in his face. I dunno, I hurt him back but it never really ever felt "even" to me.

But finally, one night several months after all that.. I'm at a house party. (again). My parents think I'm somewhere else. We're getting high, we're drinking and for the first time I do coke. And who shows up to this party? My first girlfriend. The neighborhood whore. Well, she was the only sober one there. Guys were grabby and shit talking her, and eventually one dragged her off (it was all very playful and giggling) to a bedroom. And in a bit we all heard it. Her moans, bodies slapping, him cumming.

He pops out of the room, still dressing himself and yells "next!". We thought he was kidding. He was like 'oh no..i told her to say with her ass up..so if you want it, go get it". We all nervously looked around the room until another one of us went and hit it. With each guy that came back, the atmosphere of the room was getting very..macho, very..pack animal like, very shit talky. The mood was infectious. I'm sure the drugs and alcohol didn't hurt.

Well eventually guy number 5 was done, a particularly close friend of mine. And he came out and patted me on the back and said, "dude, you need to have a go, she fucks good"

I couldn't say no. I mean I guess I could. But in front of all the guys? I mean, they all did it.

So I went.

I'd like to say up until this point and even after this point, I've never seen sex like this. Sex is fun. Sex is either naughty or romantic. Even when debaucherous. This..this was just skanky. This was cold, lifeless. There wasn't a human in that room, but a wad of meat. There was an energy to it all, but it's not what I look for in even really kinky. group sex.

I went in there, my cock was raging hard. From the coke? The anxiety? I don't know. And there she was. Mattress on the ground, her face down on the bed, her ass in the air and her pussy dripping everyone else's cum. I thought that was kinda gross (i don't anymore), I hadn't even seen shit like this in porn I downloaded off my 56kbps modem at home. She lookd around and saw who it was and just smiled and told me to hop on, which I did.

Her pussy was so sloppy, and silky. I had lost my virginity before this and had lots of sex, but I was fucking sloppy 5ths here. It was the warmest cunt I'd ever been in. You can't imagine what it feels like to fuck a used cunt. It feels perfect (to me). It feels like getting a blowjob from an angel. But as I was fucking her, I wasn't merely being blown away by how awesome and awkward and insane this was. I started to spank her which I had never done to a a girl before. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I raised my hand and it landed loudly on her ass. She moaned loudly and i could feel her pussy clamp around my cock. Whaddya know? She likes it. So i kept smacking her, one cheek, the other cheek. Her moaning kept intensifying as I fucked and spank her pale white ass which was now incredibly red. She started to cum on me when my smacks got harder and I started calling her a slut and a whore. After she calmed down a bit, I reached down and stuck my fingers in her, covered my fingers in her cum and the cum of other dudes and fed it to her. I asked if she loved cum? "Yes" she said, "Then clean the jizz and pussy juice off my cock" and she did hungrily. She didn't bat an eye. There was no hesitation in anything she did. When she was sucking me and I reached around and put one finger, then two fingers in her asshole and fingered it like a pussy, she just moaned on my dick.

After I was satisfied she cleaned me, I went to her backside again. I slapped her ass hard as I could. She yelled out. I told her to beg me to fuck her. "Fuck me, please fuck me". I slapped her again, louder. Be creative. Make me believe it. "I need you to fuck me, please put your dick in me!". I could hear the guys out in the living room laughing it up and even cheering. And with that, I just went all in. No more spanking, no name calling. I put my grip around her skinny-fat love handles and fucked her harder than I had fucked anyone before in my life. Usually, and honestly, I came pretty quickly. But i don't know if it was the substances I had done, or the energy of the night, but getting myself to cum was hard. And I just let loose. I didn't care about her. She was just a wet hole. She moaned, she came, I didn't care. I just fucked harder, sweat beading up on my forehead and chest, running out of breath, until I felt my balls tighten and knew it was coming. I buried myself into the hilt of her cunt and I came like I had never cum before. After squeezing off the last few drops while the head of my cock stay nestled in her pussy, I smacked her ass and told her thanks.

I went out of the room, yelled "next.." just like the people before me, laughing and smiling and the next guy went in. All in all, 9 guys had her that night. 4-5 of them went for 2nds and thirds. When she left that night, I'd never seen someone wobble like she was wobbling from having the shit fucked out of her. She looked ridiculous walking away, but she came by and kissed everyone of us on the cheek on the way out. She stopped by me, and said "especially you" and gave me this deep long, french kiss. I don't think you could ask for a bigger ego stroke for that to happen in that room of all those guys.

Every fiber of my being tells me I should be ashamed of myself somewhat, but deep down, I know that what she did to me, all the things my best friend did to me, all that had closure that night. On some level, she probably has issues and probably not all that great she was acting like that (or any of us for that matter). But on another level, she seemed to have a comfort with what she wanted out of sex and was unashamed about it. And in retrospect looking at it from that angle, I find that aspect kind of endearing.

That night was one of the most cathartic, letting go moments of my life. But I felt like this massive wave of internal pressure had been taken out of me at the same time.

It wasn't a loving act. It was an act of consensual violence. But nonetheless, I was pretty young, and fucked my first girl in a train.