What my life has come to and how I got to this point. | 2016

Hey fellow redditors. I finally decided to get this off my chest. Ever since I first masturbated at the age of 11 I masturbated every day after that. I LOVE sex. I'm a addict. After I cum once, I can cum again in less than 10 minutes. Not long after that, I cant remember exactly when, but I browsed forums on the internet looking for a way to masturbate more effectively.

I came across anal masturbation and I read about the prostate etc.. I tried it out and HOLY SHIT. Anal is amazing. At first I looked around the house looking for things to stick up there. One time I ended up finding this glass whale that was huge, about the size of a baseball and the tail was a perfect flair for a butt plug. I couldn't even wrap my hand around it. I set it on my shelf in my room as I kept using things like candles, shampoo bottles, and I even made an inflatable bike tire dildo one day. One day my parents were out of the house all day and I made it my goal to try to fit that whale.

I started with a small shampoo bottle that I was used to using. Then I duct taped a bigger shampoo bottle to a chair that I had laying on its side against a wall. I got on my knees and moved it thrusted back and forth, shampoo bottle in and out. I did this for about an hour on and off until my ass was numb. Lubed up the whale and my ass sucked it up after putting pressure on it for about 15 minutes. I was so full I thought my intestines were going to burst and I came the time I stroked my shaft. After that I could fit the get the whale in after about five-ten minutes of pressure and I did this at least once every week. Fast forward 3 years and I'm now 15 and school had just gotten out for summer.

I was so sick and tired of masturbating and I really wanted to lose my virginity. Back then (I'm 24 now) tinder wasn't a thing but craigslist was! I made a throw away email account and posted on craigslist saying that I wanted to lose my virginity and that I was 15. I know, I'm an idiot. I didn't get 1 reply from a woman. I got a few replies from some guys saying that they wanted to "give me a good fuck". Back then I hated the look of guys and was not attracted to them at all so I ignored them and was mostly creeped out. I kept trying craigslist throughout the summer and during sometime the middle of it I got a reply from a guy who just said that he wanted to chat via email. I was curious so I replied back asking what about. I can't remember all our conversations but we ended talking about a lot of things from video games, to sports, to advice, and eventually to sex.

He told me that he was bi and had encounters with both guys and girls. I remember him telling me about what he thinks of guys. He told me that they weren't as pretty as girls but they can be more fun than them. If you asked me what I think of guys today, I would tell you what he told me. I ended up confessing to him that I was really into anal stimulation and that I had done that thing with the chair and the shampoo bottle a lot. We chatted about it by this point in my sexual adventures I realized that I was kinkier than the average person. On days when my parents were not home I would be horny all day just because I knew that I could do whatever I wanted with myself.

During one of these days I emailed my craigslist buddy and asked him if he had any ideas about what I could use instead of a shampoo bottle just to switch it up. He quickly responded saying that he could be my shampoo bottle. I thought about what he just had said for at least a half an hour. "am I really thinking about getting fucked in the ass by this guy? what the FUCK is wrong with me." By the time I was about to respond he had sent another email saying that he could pick me up if I could sneak out of the house. I let my testosterone over ride my common sense and told him my address and that my parents weren't home and that he could come over. After I sent the email I just sat staring at the wall thinking about what I was about to do.

I knew that he was an older guy and I kept trying to tell myself that this was normal. When he showed up I remember opening the door and I was shocked that he was actually a handsome guy and not some creep who looked like he rapes kids in his spare time. We barely talked. I didn't know what to talk about. I didn't know where to walk to in my own house. I didn't know if I should show him to my room, the living room, or the kitchen, or anyplace, I didnt know what to do. I just ended up walking to the living room and sat down on the couch and he sat in a chair and pulled out a condom and told me what he was going to do. It weirdly calmed me down in light on what I was actually fucking doing.

He said he had never been with anyone younger than 19 before and that this was a new experience for him. He told me to get onto my knees on the floor and I did without asking or saying anything. I thought he was going to ask me to suck his dick or something but he didn't. He just spit on it himself and started rubbing it on my ass crack for what I remember to be the longest time. I was going through so many things in my mind at that point and I was just blank staring at the ground with my ass up and my head an inch off the floor. I felt him rim my ass hole once and then he grabbed my shoulders and pulled back and slowly slid himself in and thrusted at the last minute and I will never forget the grunt he made. It turned me on so much with it in combination with feeling is dick inside me for the first time. I was the most I had ever been turned on even until this day. After that I immediately started moving back and forth without saying a word. I was in shock. We weren't doing this for long and he came pretty quickly. He kept telling me that I was perfect and thanking me.

I'm positive that this is the moment that I turned into a hardcore submissive type. He actually hung out for a little bit afterwards and we played wii sports for a while. I wanted to do it again before he left but he said no and thanked me again and just left. That night I emailed him back asking him when we could meet up again. He responded asking when he could come over again. This was a problem for me because my parents weren't both gone for a long period of time that often. We couldn't meet up until school started again when I ended up making a fake friend and my craigslist butt buddy was his "father." My parents met him once for a short period of time when he picked me up for the first time to go over to his house so I could hang out with my "friend."

The first time I went to his house I was surprised. It wasn't an apartment. It was an actually nice house about 35 minutes away from mine. At first I "hung out" a lot with my friend on saturdays. Then it turned into a lot of saturday-sunday sleepovers. He wasn't available every weekend but when he was available we would fuck all night long over and over again and I would go back to my parents house and just take a nap for the rest of the day. He got me to open up to the idea of giving blowjobs after he gave me one for the first time. I loved giving blowjobs more than I liked receiving them. Looking back on it now I guess I loved it so much because of the attention and praise he gave me while I was doing it. We not only started to become close friends but he was fucking me at least every other weekend. He let me peg him a couple of times but we both enjoyed it more when he was in the back.

When I was junior in highschool and I got my permit to drive we started to fuck even more and I began telling lies to my parents about where I was. Sometimes I would just go over to his house to play video games or watch tv and we wouldn't even fuck. We had become best friends. I would say we were in a relationship but we weren't doing anything with eachother other than fucking and hanging out together, there was no kissing or intimate touching other than bj's. We started getting kinkier and we would go out to places together and he would just pose as my father. Not long after that I started to call him dad instead of his name when we fucked. This man has made my life turn out completely different than what I thought it would be. I never went to a school dance. I never had sex with a girl. I never sought out compassion from anyone at school. Never was in a relationship. My mentality was what was the point? I still jacked off to women a lot. Never watched gay porn. But I was satisfied with what I already had. Of course I wanted to have sex with a girl but I never had the opportunity or I never put myself into one.

In my spare time I was over at his house hanging out or doing you know what. I graduated from highschool and started taking classes at my state university and I lived so close I didn't need to dorm. I continued my relationship with him and freshman year of college he gave me a key to his house as a graduation gift from high school. I graduated from Sacramento state university with a degree in communication and now I live with him full time. My parents found out what I was actually doing at my friends house after I graduated from college and I told them that I was moving in with this guy as just a room mate my dad wanted to help me move and I wouldn't let him because he knew the address of the house because he had picked me up a couple of times from when I was "hanging out" with my friend.

Long story short, we ended up getting in a huge fight and I told my dad that I was going to live with my friend from highschool and college. He then proceeded to drive over to my friends house to talk to his parents. My fuck buddy answered the door and told my dad the truth. My dad and I didn't talk for months, and it hurt my mother so bad that she will never look at me the same way again. They think I am gay and that I don't like women but when I try to explain it to them they still don't get it. I only talk to my parents about once a month now and they just check up on me. I'm so fucked up mentally that I'm fully dependent on my best friend that I've been in a sexual relationship with for 9 years. He has a good job and works 9-5 5 days a week, but I do nothing all day except sit at home, watch porn, jack off, play video games, watch tv, clean up the house, and wait for him to come home so I can please him.

I'm sorry that this post is so long but I had to get it all off my chest. I've never posted about my life before and hopefully this will help me change for the better and motivate me to do something with my life.