Until this night I only identified as straight [First time, m/m] [x-post r/gaystoriesgonewild] | 2016

Note: this story contains drug use. This happened just over 5 years ago and is completely true. This ended up being a longer story. TL;DR Young straight identifying guy is seduced by slightly older gay guy while on drugs and has long night of bisexual exploration.

I was 18, just graduated from high school, and enjoying a summer of new found freedom. I had a car and a cushy summer job before college started in the fall. Mostly I was just enjoying hanging out with friends and getting smashed. I was hanging out with my friend Josh and his girlfriend Karen just about every day. We were all kind of into the raver thing and were having fun throwing stupid little psychedelic parties and dancing to loud electronic music. We weren’t very cool, the parties were always small and there were never many girls. But we were happy with them and probably even called our get-togethers “intimate”. Being free with sexuality was a big thing in this crowd, though no one ever really took it that far. It was more just innocent stuff for shock value, guys and girls would kiss each other or give long drug hugs.

On this night, Josh, Karen, and I had just picked up a bunch of ecstasy and were driving around trying to decide what we should do. Karen spotted some of her friends from the car and we stopped to talk with them for a bit. They mentioned that they had a really cheap hookup for cocaine and we decided to take them up on it. We ended up getting it for a very fair price and were feeling really good about that. We didn’t have a place to go so we decided to head to one of the secluded parks in our town and just hang out. It was coming on night so we weren’t really concerned about getting caught. During this period we were all pretty fearless and stupid. It’s pretty embarrassing now to think back on but we were teenagers.

We cut a few lines and smoked a few cigarettes, then Josh jumped up and ran towards a guy who was jogging in the park. He gave him a big hug then led him back to our table. “Guys, this is my friend Matt!” Josh exclaimed. Matt was just under 6’ tall and had dark skin, black hair, and brown eyes. He was a bit paunchy with a little bit of a gut. He looked like he was probably in his mid-20s. He was very friendly and graciously accepted the drugs Josh offered him. He sat for a while hanging out before Matt suggested that we all go to his friend’s trailer.

I don’t remember his friend’s name. He was a short heavy set black man who immediately started smoking crack when we arrived. It was a bit uncomfortable but at that point we had all taken the ecstasy, including Matt, and his friend was gracious with some beers so we decided to hang out in his backyard. We sat in a circle of plastic yard chairs doing much of the same when we decided to take some more of the cocaine. Matt, Josh, and I went back inside while Karen and her friends remained outside. Josh took a line and then realized that he was done and ran back outside. I was a bit disappointed because I didn’t really feel like going to the trouble of bagging up the other lines he’d cut so I just decided to do them. Matt wasn’t in the mood for anymore so he just stood there watching me. After a minute he asked, “So, what’s your preference?” I told him that I liked coke fine but that I was enjoying the ecstasy that was just kicking in a bit more. He kind of laughed and then said, “No, I mean, boys or girls?” It took a second to sink in exactly what he meant but then I quickly replied, Girls. I was surprised by this question and didn’t even think about it as a come-on until much later. I was a really lanky kid and not the best looking. Not ugly just not a movie star. I didn’t have a lot of experience with people flirting with me, male or female.

We went back outside and by now the circle had turned into a petting circle. Matt sat in a chair to my left, Karen sat in Josh’s lap on my right. I felt Matt’s hand start rubbing my right knee, then Karen’s hand on my left. I responded by massaging Karen’s upper-thigh as Josh gave her a head massage. I avoided eye contact with Matt who was moving his hand closer to my thigh. He grabbed my hand and put it on his leg. I decided to not be a prude about it and left my hand there, and even moved my hand on Karen so that I was also petting Josh’s leg. This went on for a little while as we all acted silly. Then Matt suggested Karen sit in my lap. She complied, though Josh looked disappointed. She sat down in my lap and I could start to feel my mood switch from silly to extremely horny, as she rocked her ass on my crotch and Matt and Josh massaged my legs, Josh alternating back to Karen. I began to become hard and Karen reached back to grab my semi-erect dick through my pants. I responded by rubbing her pussy through her pants and she let out a moan.

She went back to Josh’s lap and we resumed our previous positions. As I continued to rub Karen and Matt, he grabbed my hand from his thigh and placed it on his dick. My heart thumped heavy, I’d never touched a cock other than my own. I was pulled my hand away but the combination of ecstasy and cocaine had definitely put me into a strange place and after Karen on my lap I just felt like I didn’t care where the hands came from so long as they came. He grabbed my hand again and looked at me and smiled. He put my hand back on his crotch and I could feel the outline of cock through his basketball shorts. He was half erect and it seemed to be loose under his shorts, like I could grab almost all the way around without effort. I pulled my hand away again. When he placed my hand there the third time I went with it. I don’t know why. I wanted people to see I wasn’t homophobic, I wanted to do something crazy. I was nervous to the point of shaking but steadied by the drugs. I felt the outline of cock through his shorts again and rubbed the top of his cock.

Ideas flashed in my head. I thought about being treated like a woman. I thought about the times I’d been attracted to other guys and the times I’d masturbated thinking about my friends. It took a while for me to become okay with my bisexuality, right then all I could think about was how horny I was.

Matt grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. “Why don’t you sit in my lap now?” he said. I got out of my chair without a word and sat in his lap. Now only he was touching me and he was running his hands all over my body as Josh, Karen, and her two friends watched on. He slipped his fingers under my shirt and rubbed along the top of pants while his left hand cupped the inside of my thigh just above my cock. At this point I was hard to the point of bursting. Matt began to ease his fingers down underneath my belt. I tensed then readjusted myself so that my cock was facing up against my body. He began to tease the head of my cock, his hand half out of my pants.

He whispered in my ear, “Can we go somewhere and talk?” I didn’t say anything, just got off his lap and lit a cigarette. I didn’t wait for him to lead me anywhere, just walked behind the trailer on the dark side. He followed and when we were out of sight he leaned his back against the trailer. “Come here,” he said and I stepped closer. My entire body felt light and strange. I’d never done anything like this before, especially not with another boy. He began to rub my cock through my jeans again and I returned my hand to his own cock, feeling the shape of his balls through his shorts. I continued to smoke. Up until this point I thought about this whole situation as something I could blame on ecstasy. It had gone a bit far but those petting parties have a tendency to do that. I could walk away, go home, jerk off, and never have another thought about it. But in the dark behind that trailer, standing there as we mutually groped each other, something told me to go for it. It was a true curiosity what it would be like. It sounds really ridiculous now but I remember thinking about how much I enjoyed watch transsexual pornography and here was my chance to play with a dick. I remember that being my justification for what happened next. We’d been standing there, hands on each other’s cocks over our clothes for only a few moments, though it felt much longer, when I dropped to my knees, pulled down his cock out of his shorts, and wrapped my mouth around it. He immediately put his hands on the back of my head and moaned. I let his cock slide out of my mouth and he pulled me up and told me we should go to my car.

I was so horny, I’d barely spoken to this person and I’d had his cock in my mouth, the first cock I’d ever tasted. He pulled his shorts back up and I tried to conceal my hard-on. I barely even noticed my friends as I followed him out from behind the trailer and around the other side to a dirt ditch across an alley road that I’d parked in. I think I mumbled something about needing to get something out of the car.

We got into the backseat of the car and I began to freak out a little bit. I tried to climb over the front seat to turn music on but I was having trouble reaching the stereo. Matt laughed and told me to relax. I told him that I really wanted to listen to music. He began to massage the back of my head and I sat back in the seat. “So, you were doing something just now. Do you want to do it some more?” I just nodded. He pulled down his shorts and I got my first good look at his cock. It was uncut, it had shrunken slightly during the walk, back down to half erect, and his foreskin covered the head. It was shorter than mine, maybe about 5-6 inches, but seemed thicker. I wrapped my hand around it and pumped it several times. It felt strange to hold another cock, but good, and I felt powerful. I lowered my mouth on his cock and once again wrapped my lips around it. I tried to take as much of it in my mouth as possible. I was able to touch my nose to a thick bush of pubic hair before I began to choke. I bobbed up and down on him for several minutes. It tasted unlike anything I’d tasted before. It was very fleshy in my mouth but a bit musky. I could taste his pre-cum.

He pulled me up and asked if I wanted him to do it to me. I nodded and whispered a yes, too nervous to get anything else out. I’d never received a blowjob before, this was going to be my first. I slipped my jeans and underwear down to around my ankles and Matt got onto the floor of the car. He licked his hand and ran his spit all over my dick. I was leaking pre-cum so I pulled my shirt up halfway to avoid getting any on it. He began by licking slowly up the backside of my cock and swirling his tongue around my head. Then he began sucking hard and quick, moving his head in a corkscrew fashion. He stuck to this motion for several minutes. I moaned and Matt returned the moan, and I felt the vibration of it.

I suddenly craved to have his dick back in my mouth, so in a nervous voice I was able to manage to say, “I want to taste your cock again”. He immediately popped up off the floor and laid back, propped up against the door. I left my pants around my ankles then crawled forward and faced up at him from between his legs. I was lost at this point in a trance and began to have urges I’d never experienced before. I grabbed his cock and rubbed it against my cheeks and over my face. I felt it against my eyelids, against my nose, against my chin, against my forehead. I firmly slapped it against my cheek before finally taking it into my mouth. I rubbed his balls, tugging at them softly. I don’t know if I was any good as a cocksucker but I gave it my all.

I have no idea how long we were back there. It could have 5 minutes or it could have been half an hour. But it was a while before Matt moaned out, “Oh I want to fuck you so bad, can I fuck you?”

I was too lost in the moment to say no, so I said yes. I took off my shoes then slipped off my pants, bunched awkwardly around my ankles. I was here, I was sucking off a stranger in the back of my car, I was high, I was going to experience all of it. I laid on my back with my legs in the air, Matt climbed on top of me. I stared at the roof of my car. I closed my eyes as Matt slowly entered my virgin asshole. Because of the drugs and his smaller size he was able to enter quickly without much pain. I certainly felt it the next day, but in that moment I only felt full. He slowly pulled out, then back in. He was very gentle and continued to ask over and over if I was alright. I told him I was fine. It was somewhat painful but it felt good. Really, it felt better than good. I imagined myself as a beautiful woman, being fucked for the first time. As his thrusts began to increase in speed, he laid his body over mine more. “Have you ever done anything like this before?” he asked over and over. It got me so hot telling him that I hadn’t, that I’d thought about it only in passing. I felt his weight, I felt his thrusts, and his cock pushing inside of me and throbbing. I felt like an object being used and I wanted to be hurt. “Fuck me harder,” I managed to say. He straightened up and began fucking me with the entire length of his cock, every time he entered I felt him slam against me. I became delirious, repeating “Fuck me, fuck me harder, harder!”

He became tired and pulled out of me. It was my turn so we switched positions. He was able to keep his legs higher than I could. I slipped easily into his asshole and began thrusting. I looked up through the window of my car and saw the woods on the other side of the ditch. “Kiss me,” he said. I thrust into him hard, then went back to softer thrusts. “No,” I said, “I’m not gay.”

“It’s not gay to kiss someone,” he replied. I was more nervous about the kissing than any other aspect of what we were doing. Something about kissing is so passionate and romantic, while I felt that sex could be impersonal. But then it would have been rude and really inconsiderate to deny him a kiss while we were fucking. I leaned in and continued fucking his ass while we began to kiss. He grabbed the back of my head, hard, and stuck his tongue in my mouth. It gave me a rush that made me start fucking him faster. That’s when I noticed Karen watching us from the car window.

When she saw me looking at her she smiled a little bit then walked away from the car. Matt had noticed her too. It must have occurred to him how long we’d been gone because he suggested we go back to the group. Neither of us had cum but I was shaken from realizing that Karen had watched me buried in Matt and my erection had died a bit. We pulled our clothes back on without saying anything.

Back at the trailer Josh was watching some dancing show with Matt’s friend. Karen and her friends giggled at me but that was the most reaction there was. It was enough and I felt petrified, my heart beat so heavy I thought I might pass out. My mind was a mess. “Make sure you clean up,” Matt whispered to me. I couldn’t understand what he meant..clean up? Why? “Why?” I asked. Matt looked around, then whispered even more softly, “Because you were inside of me.”

When I returned from the bathroom, Matt’s friend was ushering us out of his trailer. We piled into my car, Matt riding shotgun and the other four in the backseat. The windows were fogged so heavily that I couldn’t drive away. I turned the air on, rolled down the windows, and lit a cigarette to try to distract from the overwhelming smell of sex. It took a full two minutes to defog the windshield so that we could drive away.

We returned to the park we had been at previously. Karen said something about how “at night gay guys come to fuck in the bushes here.” I was nervous that this was a slight at me. Everyone piled out to go hang out at the concrete picnic benches, but Matt asked me to stay behind in the car. When they were gone he asked, “Are you okay with what happened?”

I replied in a stutter, “Yes… I’d never done anything like that before. I’m not really into guys.”

“Do you feel alright?” he asked. In retrospect he probably meant physically. It didn’t occur to me because I didn’t experience any pain during the sex because of the drugs I was on. I wouldn’t be able to walk properly for 2 days but in that moment I felt amazing. He began rubbing my crotch again. “I like you,” he said. I mirrored his movement and replied, “I like you too.” The headlights of a car appeared in my rearview mirror and I pulled my hand away and stared forward.

“Relax,” he said. “Lean the back of your seat down.” I did as he said and moved into a laying position. He did the same, moving his body so that his head was in the seat and his feet dangled over the headrest into the backseat. He unzipped my jeans and pulled cock out and immediately began sucking. He changed techniques from the first time and was slurping, trying to get me hard. It was working, though slowly as I fought to grow against the drugs. Meanwhile, he had pulled his shorts down so that his own cock was dangling in front of my face. I reached out and began to jerk the full length of his shaft while licking around his head. Then, I took his head into my mouth and jerked him while simultaneously sucking. With my other hand I reached down under his balls and around to fit my finger into his ass. I wiggled my finger around his ass, trying to find his prostate, something I’d heard was pleasurable, but I’m pretty sure I failed.

After only a couple minutes of this, the backdoor of the car opened and the light came on. One of Karen’s friends was standing there, staring at us, cocks in each other’s mouths. She giggled lightly and grabbed her purse, “Forgot this!” she said. She didn’t seem embarrassed by the situation. She lingered to watch us for longer than was necessary, like Karen had earlier. I’d like to think it had turned her on. I don’t know.

I came to my senses a bit and got out of the car. At the bench, Josh had procured a guitar from a small group of girls who had been wandering around the park. He wasn’t very good but he played and sang along anyway. Matt asked me for my number. I felt strange giving it to him and even hesitated for a bit. But like the kissing, I guess I found it strange to deny him considering what had happened. We hung out for a bit but I knew it was only time before he and I would find ourselves back taking off where we’d left it. We’d still failed to reach orgasm. So it didn’t surprise me when he asked if I wanted to go back to the car. “Not here, it’s too out in the open” I was nervous about being seen again, I’d been embarrassed enough. And though the park was secluded, it still bordered a neighborhood and had some traffic. “I know a place.”

I made an excuse about needing a pack of cigarettes and Matt and I left in my car.

He directed me to a parking lot less than a mile away. It was empty, off the road, away from buildings, and very dark except for a lone street lamp. I parked in the most out of the way spot I could find. My car was a hatchback so I decided to fold down the backseats so we’d have more space, then I got out of the car and stripped all my clothes off. Matt did the same and then we were completely naked, outside in a slight breeze. I threw him against the side of my car and pressed my body against his then began to kiss him hard, working my tongue into his mouth. With a free hand, I reached down and grabbed his growing cock and pressed it against my own. I began to jerk us together. I broke the kiss to spit into my hand for lube, then returned it continue jerking our dicks together. The feeling of rubbing my penis against another was amazing, it was so hard and at the same time, so soft. Out of curiosity, I pulled forward his foreskin and placed the head of mine inside of it, so that the heads of our pricks met softly wrapped in his foreskin. I learned later the term “cock docking”. I don’t know why it turned me on so much but it continues to do so today.

Matt lead me back into the car and put me onto my knees in the doggy-style position. He crawled behind me then I felt a wetness on my asshole. I realized immediately that he was licking me down there, it was an incredible feeling that made my knees shake. I moaned, “Oh fuck, don’t stop licking my asshole.” This spurred him on, he made his tongue hard and darted it around, pulling my cheeks apart in attempt to get it inside of me. Then he pulled away and for a second my asshole was cold, but the coldness was once again replaced by the feeling of the head of his dick, pressing against me, trying to find his way in. He slid in with a little effort and I grunted, then put my head up and lifted my ass a little higher. He wasted no time finding a rhythm and was quickly fucking me very hard. I felt gasps of air escape out of my mouth, little moans, every time he threw his entire length into me. I felt very feminine in the doggy style position and I liked that. “Pull my hair!” I demanded, and he grabbed a handful of my hair, though there wasn’t much, and pulled hard. This, combined with the force of his dick gave me a rush like I’d never known. I saw stars and my heart beat felt like a jackhammer. I thought about how I’d like him to fuck me outside, against the car, but I didn’t get the chance to suggest it. “I’m going to cum!” he announced. He let go of my hair and placed both his hands back at his hips. He began scratching and his rhythm became irregular. It took him more than a full minute of this as he struggled to reach ejaculation. Finally he let out a final moan and stopped pumping. He remained inside of me until his erection subsided then slowly pulled out. I reached back and felt a small dollop of his cum leaking out of my ass, I wiped it off with my underwear.

He tried licking my asshole again but I couldn’t get hard. The night had gone on too long, the drugs were too powerful. I was just tired and a bit sore. We had been gone “buying cigarettes” for too long so we returned to the park. We didn’t fool around anymore that night and in the wee hours of the morning I drove everyone home.

Finally in bed I jerked my cock for all it was worth, reliving everything that had happened and telling myself it would be the last time I jerked off while thinking about it. But it wouldn’t be.

I’m sorry that went on so long. If anyone is interested in reading about the next (and last) time that Matt and I saw each other I will write part 2. Thanks for reading, those who did.