My (f)irst ti(m)e squirting | 2016

DISCLAIMER: This is an entirely true story, but I told it in a kind of prose-y way in order to maintain the feels of the situation, if that makes sense.

It's late and you and I are in my living room again and we've been talking for five hours about life and things and people and I want you to make a move so badly but I don't know how to tell you. You're moving the conversation towards sex, and I don't redirect it, but I feel like I'm blushing. I know. Me. Brassy, brash, forward, loud: me. But not with you. I don't know what it is that makes me so reserved and demure, at least when it comes to this, with you. I want you to tell me. I want you to say, "God, I want you, let's go to bed." I want you to take my hand and pull me toward the bedroom. I want there to be no question. But that's not fair. You don't know, either. You want me to say it. Both of us sitting here, the conversation thinning out, and I keep lighting more cigarettes, dragging out this awkwardness, this mutual expedition to determine what the other one wants before anything slips past the point of unmistakable.

I am reinforced with alcohol and laced with marijuana. I keep moving around on the couch, cinching up my skirt to try and flash you my thigh-highs, my garter belt. Am I sexy or just silly? It's so late. So ridiculously late. And I'm scared that if I don't say something soon, you will leave me here, unfucked and unsettled and wondering. I have to say it. I drain the last of my wine. I put out my millionth cigarette of the night. "Come lay down with me." I say, and I walk into my dark, messy bedroom, hoping you are following me.

You lay down on the bed next to me and for a minute we both look up at the ceiling fan. There is always an element of strangeness to this. As if, even after I've invited you to bed with me, you misunderstood what I meant and you're afraid of going too far. But here we are. I turn toward you and you turn toward me and we stare at each other momentarily in the dark. We both lean in at the same time and start kissing. Now it's broken. The weirdness dissipates and my desire for you takes over completely, keeping my hands from shaking as I reach up to stroke the side of your face. I still can't believe I'm in bed with you. No matter how many times we do this, I'm still surprised each time. You're running your hand down my side as you kiss me, and as you come to the hem of my skirt you push beneath it and make your way up my thigh, over the tops of my stockings and garter belt. You palm my ass and I start to coo, under my breath. I want it nasty. I want it hard. I want it filthy and taboo. But I also want this. So much. Just this.

I trace my finger along the waistband of your pants and start unbuttoning them. You shift so I can pull them off of you more easily, and I push your shoulder against the bed, so you're flat on your back. I slide down you and pull your pants down to your ankles. I kiss a trail down your shirt and start licking the insides of your thighs and you start to moan. This is one of the things I love most about fucking you- the stream of words that comes out of your mouth when you're with me. "Oh my god that feels so good," you say, "ohhh, fuck...ohhhhh, oh fuck..."

I want it worse. I want it louder. I take your cock into my mouth. "Oh my GOD!" you say, "Oh, my God! Suck my dick...mmmm....ooohhhh...I love it when you suck my cock..." I'm starting to really get into it and I'm twisting my hand up and down your shaft while I suck on the tip. My other hand is rubbing my clit and I'm pretty sure I'm about to cum. Can you feel it in my speed? In my sudden inability to keep my rhythm? "I love the way you look when you suck my cock. Ohhhhh....you're so good at that...you're gorgeous..." Your hands in my hair, on the backs of my arms, and your words and your cock in my mouth and my fingers rubbing my clit and I'm moaning around your cock and I'm about to cum so hard when you pull me up and throw me on my back, suddenly, and shove your fingers inside my pussy.

Your hands are amazing, and you immediately find my g-spot deep inside me, stroking me hard and fast with curved fingers. My back is arching and my pelvic floor muscles are starting to contract around your fingers. This feels different. It's almost too much stimulation and with you and me and oh this and oh my god and you touch my clit as you're lightning fast in and out of me and I'm lost, broken breath, gasping and trying to remember to breathe. And I can hear you talking somewhere above me, "Your pussy is so tight...god, you're so fucking wet..." and I cum right then, so hard I think I'm going to pass out. The release is overwhelming and it feels like I'm cumming for over a minute. "You just squirted all over my hand," you say, your mouth close to my ear, your voice low and deep, your warm breath on my neck and fuuuuuuuuuck, so sexy.... and I realize you're right. I've never squirted before, but when I say that you don't believe me.

I want you so badly. I want to cum again, but this time on your cock. I pull my shirt off and you start touching my breasts over my bra. I love the way your hands feel on me. I want you to kiss me again, hard, while you tease me with your cock at the entrance to my pussy, but I don't ask. If I tell you I really love kissing you, where are we then, friend? "I want you inside me." I say, as I climb on top of you. I rest my palm on your shoulder as I start pressing your cock into my wet little cunt. Your hands are still groping my tits and they slide down to my ass as I start rocking into you. You're saying something but I can't hear you because I'm groaning as I grind. I hear snippets of what you're saying as you thrust into me, "...goood....fuck...oh...oh...feels so...god...damn..." I start talking, too, in this different, dirtier register you bring out in me, "God, I love your cock. I want you to cum so deep inside of me...I want you to make me sore...I want you to make me bleed...oh! you feel so good....you're gonna make me cum again, all over you..."

You slap my ass, hard, and I start to cum and my hips stop moving so fast. All I can focus on is the intensity of this orgasm, this moment where my body is shutting down except for this shining thing happening to me. I'm cumming so hard my uterus will ache for days. I'm cumming so hard I can't see. I can't stop. I think it might not stop. I don't want it to.