My First LSD Trip | 2016

Edit: I posted this in /rDrugs a couple of months ago but I think you guys will appreciate it. Also, I know you're into dirty details, but this is just a description of the night that led to a sexual encounter. So, if you're looking for a funny story, look no further. If you seek a detailed depiction of a slut's pussy craving my cock so much that its juices are running down my face and neck, then you'll have to wait. Again, I apologize for the lack of details. Alright, hope you guys enjoy.

Ok, so I have smoked my fair share of weed, drank myself silly on numerous occasions. Never have I been as fucked up as I was this past Friday.

I wanted to do something different. So, without telling anyone, a friend and I decided to drop acid. This may not have been the best idea because we were at a friend's party and I was in charge of keeping tabs on 60+ drunk adolescents. Also, my friend's parents were home. They're cool, though, but still it was interesting because I dealt with them the entire night. Anyway, Now that I've set the prefaced the story I'll begin.

(Every time noted below represents me looking at my phone.)

8:15PM. I'm two beers deep and we place small white tabs awkwardly in our mouths. My friend and I agree that we are in this together and have each other's back till the end.

8:30PM. I play some beer pong, talk to friends, hit on some chicks and finish my six pack. Preventing the tab from shooting out of my mouth while yelling during beer pong is quite a feat, if I do say so myself. Talking is a wee bit awkward as well. Whatever, the fact that no one knows I'm about to be tripping balls is exciting.

9:00PM. The house is packed. The ceiling fan is on and there's a light fixed right above it, thus creating a strobe light effect on the floor and walls. I'm standing there, ensconced by an undulating crowd, absolutely entranced by this phenomenon. I realize I am high as a mother fucker. I am really, really blazed. I ask my friend and he says the same thing. We are blazed unlike we ever have been before.

9:10PM. "IT'S ONLY BEEN TEN MINUTES!" I tell myself. I make my way downstairs and head towards the fridge, grab the bottle of vodka I stashed behind the hamburgers earlier in the night and throw the ass of that bitch sky-high. After consuming some shots I make myself a vodka and coke on the rocks and walk upstairs.

9:20PM. I'm playing beer pong. We're versing the champions of the night. I tell my friend that this is going to be a long game and our chances of winning are slim to none. Halfway through the game and it feels as though I'm stuck in each moment, but each time I come to terms with my surroundings I lose my place in time and the cycle starts over again. It feels like I'm chasing individual moments in the past, yet I'm unable to grasp them no matter how hard I try. It puzzles me as to why I can't grasp these moments in time, for they feel like an eternity whilst experiencing them, but feel like a mere second once I recount them. It's my turn to shoot. I hit the cup. We win.

9:30PM. Downstairs again and I kick some kids out because it's getting too rowdy. I take a shot and mix another drink.

9:40PM. On the beer pong table again. I am literally tripping balls, I think. (Can't really remember what happened or what I thought about at this point but all I know is we won the game.)

9:45PM. In the kitchen and the police park outside the house. My friend's mom literally looks at me and says, "get those kids under control." I nod in acknowledgement. I proceed to lock all the doors so no one leaves the house. I make my way upstairs. I turn the lights off and shout "SHUT THE FUCK UP. PROJECT-X THIS SHIT! BE QUIET! SSSSHHHHHH!. POLICE." Everyone is saying "SSSHHH". The kids on the couch are saying "SSSHHH," the kids on the floor, the kids on the stairs, the kids standing, the kids downstairs, all the kids are saying "SSSSHHH." It is soooo dark in here, I think to myself, and all these kids are saying "SSHHH" This is fucking insane.

9:50PM. The police leave and I'm back on the beer pong table. We're versing a couple of chicks and I'm really into the game, I mean REALLY into the game. One cup left. My friend hits it. I miss. Redemption time. I'm on my defense on and start saying stuff along the lines of, "Fuck yeah! We won!" and "You guys ain't got shit!" They stopped playing right then and there and it devastated me. I am the reason they stopped playing, at least that's what I told myself. I legitimately apologized but it was no use. The girls gave me a look of disapproval and walked away. It really hurt me. Then, their friend came over and said they were just overreacting and I was cool with it and didn't give it another thought.

10:15PM. In the backyard smoking a blunt, listening to some kid freestyle and the police show up again. My friend's mom tells me it's cake time. I had totally forgot we were celebrating a birthday! I Run through the same procedure as last time and head upstairs. I flash the lights on and off and tell everyone to quite down because the police are here and begin to sing happy birthday. An entire house full of kids singing happy birthday while the police are outside, this is hilarious. We all begin to eat cake.

10:30PM. I tell the first and only person that I have dropped acid; my ex-girlfriend that I broke up with a couple of weeks prior. We're talking, but we keep getting sidetracked, diverging from the main focus of our conversation. We make note of this and get back on track. We sidetracked, unknowingly, another four or five times. I found out she dropped acid as well.

10:40PM. We're still talking and the friend that I dropped acid with in the beginning of the night appears out of no where. He looks at me and asks, "how you feeling?" to which I respond, "fucking tripping hard, dude." I ask how he's doing and he says, "dude, it's just like," then grabs the door frame next to him and pretends to bang his head against it. I can't control myself, I practically piss my pants laughing. That's when I realize I need to piss like a mother fucker. I head to the bathroom. I never knew why people said don't look at the mirror when you're tripping. I avoid it at all costs. While pissing I decide I am going to look in the mirror. Also, I can honestly say this is the longest piss I have ever experienced in my life. Anyway, I look in the mirror. I'm a tad unfamiliar with myself, yet I'm okay with this. I wash my hands and walk out.

11:00PM. The police show up again. My friend's mom accompanies me upstairs. I introduce her to the crowd and she took over from that point on. (Can't really remember what she said, but all I know is that whenever she said anything I nodded my head in agreement and waved my hands around.) I look around there's so many eyes looking at me. I'm sweating like a fat bastard eating cheeseburgers in the Sahara. Her speech lasts an eternity.

11:10PM. People are crowding around the piano. Everyone is showcasing their skills. Some chick asks me if I play and, of course, I tell her yes. She says, "OH MY GOD! You are sooo dreamy." I announce to everyone that I am a wonderful pianist and that I have been playing since I was a wee lad. I sit down, eye the piano with an interesting demeanor, get up and sit down a few times, say, "AHHH, OK" a couple times, then start to bang on the keys while yelling, "I PLAY THE PIANO SOOOOO WELLLLL." I am the only person who finds this to be funny.

11:30PM. The Police show up again. (Don't really remember what happened here except for a single transaction between myself and another individual.)

"Everyone shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ! How many times do i have to ask? Listen the cops are here because you guys are too rowdy. Honestly, if you don't want to be here, then walk the fuck outside and introduce yourself at this point. God dammit!"

"I'd rather do that than listen to you."

"Fuck Off Dickhead. If you're so damn tough, then go out there and give them a warm welcome, asshole."

12:30AM. It's quieting down and I'm sitting on the kitchen counter. Some chick, that I regrettably hooked up with a week ago, is trying to hit on me. I am absolutely disgusted by her. She keeps talking and I have no idea what the fuck she is talking about. I find out we're literally talking talking about communication. I can't stop laughing. She asks why but I'm unable to formulate a coherent sentence at this point. Somehow I manage to get her to leave my presence.

1:00AM. Still on the counter, sipping some vodka and chilling with my close friends. One of my friends, who I have not seen all night, walks into the kitchen and picks my friend up off the floor and inverts her. Her phone slides out of her pocket and slams to ground like a slut thirsting for my cock. It is shattered, yet he will not accept the fact that this is the result of his action.

2:00AM-3:30AM. We bullshit and just hang out.

4:00AM. No longer tripping balls, but I am tripping nonetheless. We go to bed.

4:15AM. I'm in the kitchen looking for some water when my ex-girlfriend walks in. I'm confused. We start talking about us, rather she starts talking about us. I apologize about our break up. I tell her that I am emotionally incapable of holding a relationship with her. To which she responds, "well, I'm not her for emotional purposes."

4:16AM? I have the hottest sex of my life.