Mr. Green thumb, and anal! | 2016

This dude has been pursuing me off and on since April; he’s out of town a lot living a life I am incredibly envious of. When he’s in town, I’m busy. Back and forth we go with no hookup in sight. But I like his style- he’s funny, direct, and not a douche bag. Swoon, motherfucker! I actually forgot all about him for a minute because it’s been so long since our last text session. Anyway tonight was the night, apparently. Our timing just happened to sync up just right that he was coming back into town and I had nothing planned after putting my laundry away. My domestic life is very exciting… especially when you realize just a few short days ago I took a hit of LSD, saw the movie Sausage Party with Rufio, then broke into a cemetery by squirreling my fatass under an iron fence to run around naked in the rain. YEAH. Maybe I also rolled around in the wet grass for a while. It was liberating and I wish more people could experience that level of unadulterated joy and freedom. Back to tonight: he lives near me which is nice, we don’t have to have the “god, why do you live so far away” talk. I tell him to wait 10 minutes, I still need to shower and wash my creasy bits. He shows up and I’m still in a towel with my hair wrapped up in a t-shirt. I’m bringing sexy back! Don’t you fuckin’ judge me, Susan.

We sit on the couch for a bit and hang out. I’m enjoying him enjoying my stories; I love sharing. Like any proper woman, I also very much enjoy talking about myself endlessly. I’M INTERESTING, LOVE ME. He get’s what I’m putting down, even chuckling that my sex life and blog are an amazing social experiment. Which, I mean at this point, we should just count it as scientific research. I can almost predict the future and shit. If you only knew what goes on in my head when I’m screening potential lovers, or after a fuck. I can’t tell you all my secrets. I might’ve told him my secrets. Whatever, he’s my kind of people. A little older than me, civilian, and a fairly good-looking man. I also like him because he previously sent me a picture of himself naked, with a big container of cheesy poofs blocking view of his package. Uh, yes please. Confident, self-deprecating, not too serious, smart. He gives me the good vibes. We chatted on my couch for a couple of hours, he even mentioned he was happy just to enjoy my company but he’d also like to fuck me. I have every intention of fucking him, let me tell you what. I’m done sitting here in a towel, come to my room so I can change into real clothes and you can sit on my deliciously comfortable bed. I’m no good at smooth segues; this is as good as it gets.

He lays back onto my bazillion pillows and sinks into the mattress topper. He understands immediately why I pretty much refuse to get out of bed unless I have to. My bed is so comfortable that major religions are banning its enjoyment as sinful. While we were on the couch, I took my hair down and braided it in my two pig tails indicative of “I’m gonna fuck you so good.” He knows what’s up, he reads my blog He reaches over and touches the braids as we’re sitting on the bed, noting they’d make good handlebars. Haha, yeah… they do… he assures me he wouldn’t use them as handlebars. Except maybe when he does. He then gently pulls my head forward until our mouths meet. You’re god damn right I’m gonna makeout with you, you adorable man! I’m digging it. I take my glasses off. He’s fun to kiss. I want to put my mouth all over him. Things are moving, it’s time to reposition; I straddle him. He mentions he was waiting for this moment, when I hop on. Shut up and kiss me. He’s groping my tits over my shirt, and asks if the bra is really necessary. It’s not, you’re absolutely correct. I remove my top and bra, now I’m wearing nothing but lacey beige cheeky panties. I don’t like a full thong, I prefer a little coverage. He takes my nipple rings in his mouth and whatever magic he was doing with his tongue I am holding on for dear life. He’s twisting one while tongueing the other. Oh yes. I tell him he’s wearing too many clothes and he agrees.

Once stripped down he takes my panties off and maneuvers down to my lady business. I have confidence he’s got great head game. I was not wrong and I was not disappointed. Hot damn he can lick a clit. He’s using his fingers as well, and it’s a little too much but I’m not tapping out that easily. Later he’d tell me he had his hand up to his thumb in me, no wonder it felt like too much! Whatever, I came in his mouth at least 4 times. I whisper “good boy” and we giggle. He climbs up to me so I can taste myself on his tongue, and I love it. I love the way I taste. I always will. I taste delightful, and people who genuinely enjoy eating box agree with me. As we’re kissing he moves himself into me and I am very happy with his entrance. He’s the perfect size; a bit larger than average, but the right girth and length that lets me fuck all night if he allows it. I’m not uncomfortable even when he’s slamming into me. The orgasms start arriving and with every vaginal contraction his rhythm, breathing, and audible exertion changes; feeling me cum will make him cum, I guarantee it. She-Hulk strikes again, I do shitloads of kegels a day. Let me hulk smash that dick, bruh. He takes my leg up into the crook of his arm, and then the other one. I’m folded in half and I can’t open my eyes; they’re sealed shut in ecstasy. Forcing them open and seeing his face, concentrating on giving me pleasure… so hot. I tell him I’m about to cum again, he whispers I’m going to make him cum. Good, cum with me. We have a loud, intense climax together. I prefer men who orgasm loud enough my neighbors can hear it, so I’m not the only one yelling. While I’m still recovering from all the orgasms I’ve just been subjected to back-to-back, he runs his finger tips down the length of my body and my legs. Just like Ruckus did while my legs were shaking. It feels incredible, like electricity touching my nerve endings. My legs are quivering and I’m covered in goose bumps. I am content. Now what?

Now we enjoy the afterglow. We hangout and enjoy each other, he on his back and me on my tummy facing him. How much time has passed? An hour? More? Less? I dunno, I’m genuinely caught up in this exquisite company. I tell him I want to play with him some more but I’m not sure if that’s a possibility. He says “Look, I made you something,” and I glance down to his penis standing at full attention. Oh… well then, let me just show you a thing or two about a thing or two! As per usual, I waited to gift him my glorious mouth and two-handed HJ until he had proven himself a giving partner worthy of such a gift. I start out with my hands, slippery with lubricant, and it doesn’t take long before he’s gasping my praises and whispering sweet nothings like “yeah, you know how to tug a dick.” I do! I teach a class… it’s very educational. I like making him moan. The fun’s not over yet, I add my mouth to the hands and it’s all over. I love this part. I can feel his eyes rolling back into his head. I pleasure him for a good long minute, until his expressions of bliss push me over the edge and I want to sit on his dick. I ask if I can cum on him again and he invites me to climb aboard. Yes, cap’n. I hop on and get myself several orgasms before I ask him to get behind me. He wants to DP me. YES. I love Double Penetration, it’s just something I have to be prepared for and I have to trust my partner explicitly; pretty much any anal penetration there’s a set of circumstances that can lead to it. It starts with chemistry and comfort- I need to believe you’re going to be gentle, and patient, and listen to me. I also have to like you enough to want to go there. We need lubricant. Generally I require we have more than one encounter previously, but that’s not always the case.

He’s fucking me from behind and now the question is, which way are we going to DP? Where does the toy go? Which toy do we use? I ask him which way he wants to go about it, and he mentions being open to exploring new territory. Shocker, right? Before we get that far, I tell him I need some warm up to prepare my back door for entry. No problem, he uses salive and his thumb to get in me while he’s pumping away. It’s not super comfortable, but it also felt very good. Oh, oh yes. This is happening. When is the last time I had anal… months. MONTHS. Because I don’t trust anybody to do it right hahaha. I decide the toy will go in my ass, and he stops banging me long enough for me to pick out my brand new glass buttplug. It’s a little larger than I usually use on my own, but with enough gentle pressure, and taking the time to do it slowly, it’ll work. He continues fucking me while he’s pushing the toy in slowly. It’s finally in, and he picks up the pace- banging me like a screen door in a hurricane. Fuck yes. Harder. HARDER. He slows down and whispers he’s changed his mind, he wants in my ass. You got it, mister. Removes the toy, lubes himself up, and slowly pushes himself in. It’s not uncomfortable. The glass buttplug did a good job getting me where I needed to be to receive him. That little moan he let out when he was all the way inserted gave me a shiver down my spine. Now fuck me. He moves slowly at first, gauging my comfort before speeding up. I like it rough. Real rough. Harder. Faster. Don’t stop. He’s pulling my hair, pushing my head down into the bed. We’re covered in sweat. He goes and goes and goes, I can tell he’s getting close a few times, and I encourage him to cum because I have a limited amount of ass-play time before I naturally get sore. He’s going for it. I’m talking dirty to him. He’s moaning and grunting and trying to climax. Finally he stops and says he needs a break, also he didn’t want to hurt me. I had reached the end of my window of enjoyment for this activity.

We lay back with our heads at the foot of the bed, glistening and wet with sweat. My room is fucking hot and we were two noisy furnaces. I switch on my fan and we talk lightly as he starts to fade out. The bed is eating him, the sex was incredible, and everything is right in the world. I want to snuggle up to him but we’re both too hot for that nonsense. Also, good sex more often than not recharges my battery, whereas men it makes sleepy. Even when I’m on top and do all the work, there’s a fine line between fucking me until I’m more awake and fucking me until I just want to sleep forever. Time to go, he has responsibility at home otherwise he’d be crashed out in my bed for the next 12 hours. We agree this was lots of fun and we should do it again. He tells me “Nice to finally meet you… and meat you.” Thanks, boo!

My vagina hurts from having most of his hand in it. Par for the course though, my everything else hurts right now. Body aches from hitting the gym with QuarterRican and lifting, mouth hurts from braces. Time for bed. I wish I had one of my gays to snuggle up to and giggle about buttsex with, but it’s like 6:30am and I’m done with today.

If you'd like to read more of my stories I write a sex blog called All The Dicks, because I'm super subtle :)