[MFM]My first and goddamn last tranny experience.[MFM] | 2016

So, I'm a straight 19 year old male (save your "no you're not you poofy queer" comments for someone else) who enjoys the odd tinder session every now and again. Now, I'm not one of those guys who swipes right on every elephant that happens to stampede onto my screen. It's a careful process for me. I've never spent a cent on tinder and I've never had the pain of running out of likes (I'm harsh, and a bit of cunt). Anyway, I'm swiping along one day and I get to this gorgeous little Asian 'girl', small, decent 'tits', just how I like it. I give her the right and get a match. We start talking for a few days and IT asks me if I'd like to grab some drinks on the following Friday, and of course I say yes.

The following friday we meet at a bar near my place and she's even fitter in person. Now, I know some of you reading are thinking "mate theres no fucking way you don't know she's got a dick yet", well fuck you guys, she sounds like a girl, looks like a girl and the bitch ordered a fucking cosmopolitan?! Sherlock fucking Holmes would have given 'er one. So me and the Wizard from fucking Oz eventually find our way back to my place and after a couple red ones in the kitchen we get to making out. After several minutes of this we venture into the bedroom she starts laughing which I thought was a little odd, but I passed it off as her being a bit tipsy, so I didn’t say anything. After more making out on the bed she starts fucking laughing again and at this point I'm like is this bitch having a go at my technique or something? So I ask her why she's laughing, she goes "you read my tinder description right" (still no alarm bells for captain dicks for brains over here), me not wanting to come across like I didn't even have the courtesy to read her description, whilst thinking she had just put some funny/witty joke in there that I was supposed to find humorous said "yeah of course I did, very nice haha!". She gave me a little smile and we got back to it. Now let me just say, this bitch was fucking loving it, whilst feeling me up she was moaning, telling me to pull her hair the whole fucking lot. So, when she (quite loudly) asked me to "finger her ass" it didn't strike me as completely odd. And I was happy to oblige. Here's where it all started getting a bit hooley dooley, a little how's your father.... and a tad fucking gay. I licked my finger and started feeling around the hole a little bit. Now anyone who's educated in butthole fingering knows you don't just ram the cunt in there, you caress it, get it ready for impact. After a few minutes of warming up the trench, it was time to get digging (alarm bells incoming). As soon as I entered all the way with my finger I heard a moan that was more manly than the main character from Vikings. Retracting my finger I pulled away and asked "wtf was that" and you know what she fucking says "honey I can’t pretend to be girl the WHOLE time". I jump off the fucking bed and look down to see a good 7 inches of rock hard cock staring up at me, after a brief moment of cockiness I glance down at her crotch to find another fucking penis. Now I'm not an angry man by any means, but I went fucking off started yelling and swearing, I ran into the kitchen because I couldn't stand to look at IT any longer. I yelled out I was taking a shower and her gay homo ass better be out of my fucking house when I get out. Now, when I got out not only was It out of my house, but so was my wallet, my phone and my $6000 Rolex. On top of all this, the slimy fucker left a steamy shit sitting on pillow, no. fucking. joke. I genuinely don't know if I should call the police or not because I dont want people finding out about ANY of it, but I want MY FUCKING ROLEX BACK. The cunt has blocked me on tinder and I've got no fucking clue what to do. I might go back to the bar and ask to see cctv footage of her, but like wtf is that going to do, I'm genuinely lost at the moment AND WTF DO I DO WITH THE TURD ON MY PILLOW?!?!