You are here
The end to 4 years of no sex. (Part 1) | 2016
It was the summer of 2011 when I came to the realization that it had been exactly 4 years since I'd last had sex. What had my life become other than some soulless existence where I numbly went to work every day, sucked on the tit of sitting-on-my-ass-and-watching-TV, not to mention sitting on my ass and watching my entire life go by, without so much as even a flirtatious conversation. It's at this point in my life that I would get the urge to masturbate at the simple sight of a racy photo from my freshly arrived junk mail.
When was the last time I actually fucked someone? Oh right, it was with the rather "fluffy", big-boned, and wild woman from HR. She came over to my place after a work function pretending to be drunk and in need of a place to stay the night. She then demanded that I get drunk with her and that I should step on her back with my full weight as some kind of a massage. At some point, we proceeded to have stupid, black-out drunk, unprotected sex. I don't honestly recall what happened during the night, other than the fact that yes, we fucked on the carpet of my little apartment. I'm not too sure why we avoided using the perfectly decent bed, or couch even. I do recall seeing her nice big boobs flopping about.
Upon waking to a bright new day, I found myself in bed with her next to me. She noticed the clothes draped over my bedroom door and commented with an amused and exasperated "you boys." She made some small talk and even asked if I had fucked her friend that also worked in HR. No -- this whole sex with coworkers thing was a completely new "achievement" in life for me.
Shortly after, she then mounted me, but made sure not to insert my penis into her just yet. She teased my dick enough that I became frustrated and starting to thrust involuntarily. Finally she let it in and started to moan. All the while saying "oh shit!" and it's clear that she's getting off on the idea that she's fucking a coworker: "oh shit, I'm so bad! I'm fucking one of my employees! shit! shit!" This goes on for about 5 minutes or so before she's satisfied and moves to lie next to me, bed sheets drawn over her. I'm outside of the covers, fully nude, facing toward her. Not much is said from my end, as my head was foggy still from all the vodka I had consumed the night before. She looked at my dick and commented on how erect I was still. "So are you going to drive me back or do you want to fuck all morning?" she asked.
I was still of the mindset that sex was this precious thing that should probably only take place between two people who are headed toward a serious relationship. So, to continue having sex with this woman would be bad, went my logic of the day. So, I drove her back to the bar where her car was parked. She called her friend on the way (the same friend she has asked me if I had fucked), saying how I was such a gentleman.
Later in the week at work, a letter and gift-wrapped box was found at my desk. She comically criticized me for cumming inside of her and then solicited for further relations. Something about her wanting to be my sex slave, doing actual chores? The box had condoms inside it.
So now, it's 4 years later (summer 2011), and I'm reflecting on my poor sexless life. What can a guy do? I had tried meeting people by way of friends, social events, and online dating, but all attempts were failing horribly. Frustrated, I finally decided to try something completely different. I had been exercising quite a bit and wanted to share to the world what my body looked like. After jogging on the treadmill for a couple miles I walked into the bathroom to take a shirtless, sweaty picture of myself, from the chin down. I'm not particularly muscular nor physically unique, but I'm definitely not a "chubster." In the spirit of trying something different, I then open a new OkCupid account with this picture along with a thoroughly written profile describing exactly what I wanted. So that there was no room for confusion, every paragraph centered around a discussion or statement on sex. I didn't really expect much to come of it, but at least I had given it a shot (so I thought).
Out of the entire single month that I had the account open, I found that there were many horny women out there and I was actually receiving messages without having to be the one who sent first. I probably received messages from at least 10-12 different women. While this number isn't huge by any normal means.. this was a complete turn-around when you compare it to the lousy 1-2 visits my regular account might receive per week (and messages received? pshh, forget it!).
Needless to say, it made for a very interesting month which I wish to share with you here, in parts.
[To be continued]
- Log in to post comments