Breaking Bad Bitches (MF) | 2016

I met Kira at a house show, she was short, petite, and knew how to manipulate men in numerous ways. This particular night she was getting a friend of mine to buy her drinks, then flirting with other dudes. He was pissed and talked to her about it, she flipped shit and threw a drink on him, scene ensues, friend is kicked out by other dudes trying to get in Kira's pants.

I meet him outside and he's livid. As we're talking, I offer to sport fuck her. "I give you permission to do whatever you need to do to get in her pants. Teach her a lesson." my friend said. Damn bro. I went inside and easily got into conversation with her by talking about the "dick male asshole" outside. Trivial. She tells me she is playing a show this weekend, I should come to it. Always the promoter, huh? I agree.

The night arrived, I headed down to the bar/club she was playing at. When I arrived, the violent altercations occurring with the instruments onstage did not pass as music, so I headed to the bar. After half an hour of beatless machine sounds over wailing ghosts, silence. Kira appeared at the bar shortly thereafter.

"That was probably our best show so far" she smirked and flipped her hair back. I sighed quietly. "Yeah, I really like the structure and cadence in your verses" I lied, smiling genuinely. She looked at me weird for a second, but didn't catch my sarcasm. "Wanna buy me a drink?" "No." I replied. She was less than flattered. "Ok..." she kinda trailed off. "Don't you get free drinks as the band? Or at least a few drink tickets?" I was leading her. "Oh yeah." she smiled and patted herself down. "Shit. I don't have pockets in this."

I leaned back on the bar stool and looked her up and down. She was dressed in a black leotard that she had cut holes/strips into, exposing areas of her thighs, sides, arms, calves, back, etc.. I couldn't see any panty lines, barely could make out her nipples. She had wrapped glowing raver bands around her wrists, and had some colorful paint smeared around. Her hair was sweaty, dirty, messy, fucked up, and hot. She had some chucks on, so she had that going for her.

"Ok, I'll buy you a drink. But just cause I want to see what's underneath that... thing." She laughed "I make my own outfits." "I cant tell." I shot back. "You're such a jerk." she responded, acting insulted. ACTING is the keyword here. I can see right thru her. "You only fuck jerks, so... ?" I trailed off, kinda raising my hands. She just looked at me sitting on her stool, and kinda smiled and shook her head.

"What do you want to drink?" I said. She orders some bullshit that I immediately forget. Involves a cherry, fuck that who cares. She begins her small talk. She starts talking about the bands she likes and the bands around the local area. At some point her drink arrived. I'm just listening, not saying a word except for the occasional "Oh yeah." and "Huh.. interesting." Please note that I'm not actually listening to what she is saying, I'm thinking about other things.

While she is talking, I imagining what she looks like naked. I'm thinking about how I can get in her pants. I wonder if she'll let me blindfold her and put her in a cage, playing Skinny Puppy while stretching her ass with a plug. She would probably like some goth shit like that. I'd come. I snap back into reality - She asks me about my favorite bands, I immediately begin lying through my teeth.

"I'm really big into Dark Hole Destroyer and The Cephlapods. Heard of them?" She nods her head like she knows what the fuck I'm talking about. I go full Patrick Bateman. "Dark Hole Destroyer's early stuff is good, but I think they really came into their own with the release of Anal Juggernaut."

I can barely contain my laughter at this point, but somehow I have a straight face. She laughs. "That's a hilarious album name!" "Yeah, I heard it was named after their lead singer, who died while shooting an anal scene." My lies are monumental. I'm channeling Keiser Socese (sp?) at this point. "Fuck it, that's how the night is going to be" I decide. She just looks at me. "You're kidding right?" "I can't make this shit up." I say, just shrugging.

"So.. I don't know what you do. What do you do _____ ?" she inquires. My lie meter goes off the charts. "Musical Promotions in Europe." I casually throw out. Her eyes light up. "Musical promotions? Like concerts and shows?" "That's what the plebs call them." I sigh. "Plebs?" she questions. "Plebians, common-folk, those not in-the-know." I touched my nose with my index finger. I'm dying laughing inside. "Oh.. " and she trails off again. "What kind of acts?" she asks.

The lie machine kicks into full gear: "Well last year we booked The Animal Lovers across Germany and Britain." I took a drink. "Got kicked out of Germany for antics with an elephant." I looked at her, rolled my eyes. "We got a show for The Political Prisoners sponsored by Samsung in North Korea." "Whew! - That was a human rights violation." I took another drink to contain the nuke of laughter exploding inside me. She looked at me. "I don't believe you. You're lying."

"What are you doing later?" I ask her. She laughed. "There's this afterparty at my friends house. Wanna go? Jerk." "No." I laughed and took another drink. "You should come with me, leave them to clean up the mess." I pointed at her band unloading gear from the stage. "I want to see what your pussy tastes like." She looked at me with an open mouth. "That's not a lie." I said. She smirked. "Who the fuck are you?" "I'll tell you in the car." She understood. "Let me tell them I'm leaving, hold on." "Whatever." and I paid my tab at the bar. I met Kira by the frontdoor and we left.

At this point, I know I'm not taking her back to my apartment. But where to go?

I decide upon taking to her another show that was happening, a friend's house show. Said friend's band was playing, and I knew the house had a bathroom with a door that locked. As we're walking to my car, she begins with the conversation again. "What do you really do _____ ?" she says, "No lies." Immediately I begin cooking a very saucy lie. "Well... I don't know if you want to know what I do.." I trail off. As I'm unlocking my car she says "Should I be worried?" As we get in I respond "I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're wondering." She closes the door and we're off.

"Tell me what you do. I wanna know." She wants ammunition and information. "Why?" I respond. I know why. "Because I want to know more about you." Oh, clever girl. Hide those claws. "Why?" this game is my favorite. "Because I like you, but I don't know why." Finally an honest answer. "I work in Public Relations." I respond. "Downtown in (nearby city)." I look at her. "Do you want a card?" She smiles, "Uhh.. sure." I reach into my pants pocket and pretend to search around. "Shit. Sorry, I don't have any on me." We're halfway to the house party by now.

"I don't believe you work in public relations downtown." she says, "I think you have a shitty, boring job just like everyone else." She slumps back and looks out the window. Ok, I'll blow your mind then little girl. I reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out my M1911, my grandfather's from WW2, and casually moved it into the center console. I closed the console and rested my arm on it. I looked at her and said "Trust me. You don't want to know what I do." I have a CHL, I know the law, everything here is legal to the letter. She looked terrified and excited. Maybe I'm a spy? Maybe I'm special forces? Maybe I'm just a guy who's pulling your leg? "Don't ask me what I do. I'll have to lie to you. I'm sorry." I just stare out the front window, pretending to be lonely. Minutes pass in silence. She reaches over and touches my leg. Gotcha! Fake Spy achievement unlocked! Legendary!

By the time we're at the house party, she's rubbing my cock thru my pants. As we pull up, she asks "Where are we?" "Best Place In Town." I add special emphasis to signal that she should know what I'm talking about. We exit the vehicle and I lock up, heading inside a single level medium suburban home with her. I can hear my friend's band playing already, they are better than her band but a very different style. Immediately she begins trashing them. "Who is the weezer cover band?" she snides as I grab her hand and start migrating through the crowd watching the band. "How many dicks do you think the lead singer sucked? Just today?" she jokes. I laugh a little bit. Wow bitch, that's my friend. I locate the bathroom and notice there is a line. Greeeeeeat. "I'm literally going to puke on their drummer if he doesn't stop hitting those stupid toms." I pushed to the front of the line. Some dick was trying to stop me. I put the Ricky moves on him.

"Yeah man, it's ok. I live here. This is my house. You know there's another bathroom just down that hallway, right?" I point towards the FUCKING living room. This dumbass just goes "Oh, sorry man. I'll use that one." and walks off. I bang on the door impatiently. "Open up, hurry." I knock again. "Get the fuck out. Hurry up." I keep knocking. Kira is saying something about the band, mocking them, I can't make it out. I start kicking the door. "Open! Up!" The door unlocks and swings open, some fat chick is holding her dixie cup of piss beer staring at me like I just brought the towers down. "Get out!" I yell at her. Immediately she jiggles her way through the doorframe and out of my sight. I grab Kira, who is still trashing the band, and pull her into the bathroom, locking the door. "What a bunch of plebs!" she yells as the door closes. Ha, use my words to impress me little girl.

I pushed her onto the sink counter, knocking some shit onto the floor. Sorry bro. My hands are all over her body, sneaking into the holes she's cut to grab and pinch whatever I can. I realize that to penetrate her I will have to tear a hole in her leotard. I am very excited by this realization. "I like you outfit." I say to her between kisses. "Oh yeah?" she responds. "I'm going to make it better." I responded, then reached down and pulled a nearby hole open wide, exposing some of her thigh. I kept pulling, tearing the fabric until her pussy was accessible to my hand. I spat on my hand and slicked her up, rubbing fast circle all over her clit. She moaned. I unbuttoned my pants, dropped the zipper, and my cock sprung out at full attention. I just pushed forward and slid the tip right in as she asked me "Do you have a condom?" "Too late. Oops." as I began thrusting into her. "You fucking jerk." she said, but didn't push me off or stop me. "You are fucking a jerk, correct." my thrusts became deeper and faster. "I don't know why I'm letting you do this." she said, her breathing becoming faster. I decide to be brutally honest with her as I am closing in on the finish line.

"Because you can't control me." I'm pumping faster. "I'm not like your fleet of males, begging for your attention." I'm pounding her into the sink countertop as she stares at me, listening. "You can't have me. You only get to experience what I give you, nothing more." Someone starts knocking on the door. Fuck them.

"When I'm done here, I'll walk out of that door and on to my next adventure." My balls are tightening up. The knocking is furious. "The real question you should be asking, the one you will be thinking as my come runs down your legs later, is simple..." I'm about to come.

"Who let the dogs out? Who? Who, who?" and I start shooting my load into her. I burst out laughing as well too.

"You fucking jerk!!!" she screams like a banshee, hitting and slapping me like E Honda from Street Figher. A thousand little fists pummel me as I mentally frolick through the garden of amusement that has been tonight's adventure. I pull out, turn, unlock and open the door, and pass by the guy from earlier, who yells that there is no other bathroom in the house. I very quickly push my way through the crowd of people still watching my friend cover weezer songs (sorry bro). I'm outside and in my car by the time Kira is at the front door, a huge hole where her leotard should cover her pussy.

I casually put the car in reverse and slowly start backing away, taking my time. As I'm watching her stand there, flipping her shit, throwing shoes and yelling, males from the party started coming out front too. I just slow wave as she becomes surrounded by dudes, looking her up and down, laughing.

"She'll be fine." I think to myself as I'm driving home.