Anal is my Disney World (part 1) | 2016

I get angry a lot. That’s probably a weird way to start off any story, but for me that’s pretty much the core of my being. Most of the time it’s incredibly irrational, but to me, it’s always serious. I’m not sure how my wife puts up with it, because seriously, I don’t even want to put up with it and I don’t have a choice. She could leave if she really wanted to, but for some weird reason she sticks around. Sometimes I think it’s for situations like the one we had last night.

I took off from work early yesterday hoping to try and relax a little. This was after several days of intense, undirected anger. I had mostly holed up in my office and worked on my computer during that time, shunning my family almost entirely. But I had made a conscious decision to involve myself with everyone, despite it being incredibly hard to find the energy to do so.

It was a disappointment. It’s not worth going into great detail, but lets just say that when you’re already pissed off, finding out that the shelves you wanted to buy at Ikea are sold out only after having walked through the whole damn place for 2 hours really sucks. Or at least it really sucks when you’re an angry piece of meat, which I was.

The evening plodded along as it normally does, but my wife was obviously appreciative of the fact that I had tried to break out of my mad-shell. It was nice that she saw that I tried, but still the veil of my emotions made things cloudy. I couldn’t see much further than my computer screen and my energy drink, and for the next few hours thats all I saw.

The kids had gone to bed and I was taking a break. My wife had gotten up and was starting to get ready for bed, slipping her bra off. She has huge heavy tits that I love to play with, and once I saw them get set free I immediately stood up and without a word walked behind her, grabbed them and pulled her body to me. I squeezed and fondled them while I pushed my rapidly swelling crotch up against her ass. She leaned back into me, gasping every now and then as I pinched and tugged on her nipples.

I enjoyed myself, but I felt a stronger need than just idle fondling. Something was holding me back though, which often happens. I get to a point where I want to give in to my lust, but I always worry that I’m going to hurt my wife. It’s not like I’m a total psychopath… I don’t think… but I certainly want to hurt her when I get turned on. I want to use her so hard and deeply for my own enjoyment that I worry it’s a hole I can’t climb back out of. No pun intended. So when I get to that point, I often find it’s better to just stop and pull myself out of the situation than continue.

I abruptly stopped and walked to the bathroom, leaving her behind, standing alone and panting. She followed me almost immediately and shut the bathroom door behind her and gave me a sinfully happy look.

“What?” I asked. Stupid question.

She came over and started to kiss me, but it did nothing for me. I didn’t want to kiss her, I didn’t want to hug, I wanted to use her up. She might as well have been sticking her finger an inch from my face and chanting “I’m not touching you!”, because all I was feeling was annoyed.

She was the one who got turned on by kisses, light touches, cuddling… I got turned on by a whole other set of circumstances.

She realized what she was doing wasn’t working, so she stood back slightly and looked into my eyes.

“Nothing?” she asked.

“Not really. This isn’t how you get me. This is how I get you.” She looked sad, but there wasn’t much else to say. Or rather there was, but she wasn’t willing to ask the question. Married for six years, and yet somehow it’s still hard to bring up primal feelings.

We eventually ended up in separate parts of the bedroom. After a few minutes of tense silence, I turned towards her and got her attention.

“Look,” I started, “it’s not that I’m not willing to do something, but if you want me you have to get me. I’m not you. I don’t want light touches, I don’t want kissing. I want directness.”

She looked back at me and just managed a sad little, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize. I want you to understand. Remember what you said earlier tonight? You said you missed something?”

She nodded.

“And I said you were missing my cock in your ass. You leaned in close to me and nodded your head and then added that you also missed sucking my dick. Well…” I trailed off.

She seemed to understand what I was saying but she didn’t add to the conversation. We ended up once again going about our own individual business. I’m not sure how much time passed between our conversation and when she eventually sat back down on the bed next to me, our shoebox of sex toys under her arm. I was curious what she had in mind.

“I can’t promise anything, “ she said, “but I just shoved the big purple butt plug up my ass a few minutes ago.” She leaned in closer to me. “I want you to fuck my ass.”

My attention was officially grabbed.