100% libido driven [FM] | 2016

(This is a long one, so for thoose who are into a short confession this is not the pick, but for those of you who're looking for the full experience, I think you will enjoy)

I was sitting in the dark, outside my house, filling my lungs with poisonous smoke. A stupid habit I'm aware, but yet, it has let to the most arousing, but at the same time shameful, moment of my life. It was at that night, I really saw my neighbour for the first time. This is not to be taken literal of course, I had seen her a thousand times before, as she had lived in the house next to mine ever since before I entered this world. But that night I saw the side of her, which would become my obsession for years to come. A light snapped me out of my thoughts. The window of Ann’s living room shined up and in walked Ann. I should explain, Ann had always liked to make adjustments to her house, keeping it modern and flashy, she must have been around 45 at the time. Latest news was her wall in her living room and bedroom being torn down and replaced with a big glass wall, which gave me a clear view into her private life. I didn’t like the idea of spying on her, but lets be honest, what you have done? She was wearing an open morning robe and nothing else. There I sat in the dark, with a mixed feeling of shame and arousal, watching her, with her pink pussy fully exposed. I had never seen her naked before, but she was a sight for gods, only available for me to behold. Her brown hair curled down towards her to shoulders, touching the tip of her morning rope. Her breast big and firm, the glowing red morning rope partly covering her nipples. She walked over and stood by the window allowing me to see it all up-close. That's when I made a crucial movement to flick my cigarette, which resulted in the light going off. God, I hated that light! Countless times in my early teenage years, it had revealed me in my attempts to keep my nasty habit out of sight from my parents. And even now, as an 18-year-old young man, it revealed me, and shattered my hideout in the most critical time of need. Ann instantly looked up and out of the window. Calm she looked out at me, and that's when I panicked. My face turned dark red, and I tumbled up from the chair and rushed to the door. The thing that got me wondering was, that In the blur of it all, i remember turning my head and in the glimpse of my eyes seeing Ann, still standing at the same position, fully visible up-close to the window, but this time no bathrobe.

The following days I "unburdened myself of my pressures". The constant thoughts of Ann’s naked body were dominate in my mind. It was weird how good she looked compared to her age, she didn’t seem like an old woman to me, too me she was Aphrodite. She dominated my every day, and somehow it awoke a lust inside me.

I started chain smoking during the evenings. It became an obsession to me to relieve that moment and with a bit of time, and a lot of poison in my lounges I did manage to see Ann’s naked body through her window wall. Hidden in the same darkness, I lurked waiting for the moment to happen and praying I wouldn't tip off the light and spoil the moment when it finally happened. At the time, I wasn't sure if she was aware, that I was watching her, but something about the way the rarely seen incidents unfolded awoke my suspicion. It was as if, she would position herself at the perfect angle for me to see her exposed in the fullest ways. As an example, one time she bent over, ass facing the window in broad daylight while wearing a short summer dress. She did this as me, my dad and my mom was walking to the car together. Her pussy was exposed for the pleasure of both my dad and me, but for the clear annoyment of my mom, whom spent the whole trip complaining about Ann, pretending she wasn’t even aware that her husband was picturing fucking Ann while she was chipping away. Of course she blamed her sudden dissatisfactions on everyday neighbour gossip, such matters you can’t put into words while your son is in the back seat. “Her apple tree takes all the sunlight, my roses are dying, dying Albert!”. “Hmm” my dad responded, clearly more interested in what’s going on in his head. Even though I didn't like the idea of him seeing her like that, It was the closest I had come to prove, that this little game of ours wasn't just in my own head. It all collided one early summer day. I was home alone, and therefore I decided to begin the summer with sunbathing. In general, I'm a shy guy, I know that I look good, both with and without clothes but I like to think of my body as a personal thing. What I’m trying to say is, that I don’t like bathing with strangers in the gym shower and I keep my shirt on while playing football. Anyways, back on track. Ann's garden was just next to mine and only separated by a little fence, which you could easily see over. At the time I had undressed down to my underpants she came out the door. She had sunglasses on, and a short summer dress, much like the one I had previously seen. Could it be the same, a planned tease? She glanced over at me, and said "Hi". "Hi" I responded back as I laid there awkwardly, almost fully exposed. She removed her sunglasses and looked straight at me. Her eyes scanned my body from top till bottom. Without a hint of shame for a brief moment, she lingered on, as her eyes reached the bulge in my underpants. Without taking her eyes off me she walked further into the garden, picked up a shovel and started doing garden work. As she was working she openly glanced at me. I found that it aroused me, in fact to a degree that made it visible. Finally having her full attention was like heroin to my obsession. My stomach tingled, as I moved my leg, exposing the bulge in my underpants. She instantly noticed. For a moment I was afraid that I had misinterpreted it all. That this whole thing was a creation of my filthy mind, and that the times she'd been the exhibitionist to my voyeurism, in reality, had been a creepy kid lurking through his elderly neighbour’s window. She sprung up and pushed the shovel hard into the ground and looked me straight in my eyes. My body gave a pathetic shake, as I heard her words in my mind; "You filthy boy! Spying at me in the night, watching me as I walk out from the shower and now this! Laying in the middle of the garden with your hard dick pointing at me!" But the words remained in my mind and no protest ever came. In fact the opposite happened. She walked over, took a sun chair and rolled it towards me. This response came a bit unexpected and the shame of letting myself vividly scare from her little build up, hit me. Shivering like a girl, when facing confrontation, surely it must have been amusing for her. She placed the sunchair only a few meters away from me. In a mixture of shock and arousal, I looked at her. She seemed steady and confident. The opposite of me in fact, I felt shaky and nervous. Before lying down, she grabbed her sundress and pulled it over her head, ass faced towards me, leaving her dressed only in brah and thong. While she laid down she send me an expecting look. To this day, I can't account for how I responded. Truth is I don't know how, but arousal took over, maybe you know the feeling. Maybe you've felt it yourself, maybe right before the most shameful act you have ever participated in was brought to life. It's the feeling of being stripped of all thoughts except your most inner desires. You are no longer consistent of thoughts - or shame. You are 100% libido driven. I picture this is the feeling of the rich successful man who fit right into the perfect love story, with the perfect woman, and seals the deal with the perfect wedding. The man who after the wedding goes on the perfect honeymoon, but not a day later than his return, finds himself furiously humping the "office slut of the month", the man who hears her moan "Cum inside me" and most importantly the man that obeys. And like any sinful secret (including the one you’re becoming known to as you read on) the man lets in to this feeling must face the consequences. As the man in the given example finds his perfect love-story shattered and burnt to bricks when "the office slut of the month" call up his perfect woman and deliver the news, “Congratulations honey, you’re a dad”. Just as that man I would come to regret my shameful decisions, but let's not get ahead of our self, let's start with act that made the barrier break down; I looked straight back at Ann, I was no longer shaken up by her starting gesture, but steady as one could be. I guess the arousal had encapsulated me, and high on the moment I pulled off my underpants and showed Ann myself. And for the first time Ann saw me, of course she had seen me a thousand times, she did live in this house before I entered the world, but at that moment she “really” saw me. She looked straight at it, but kept the calm attitude amazingly well. I simply had to "unburden myself of my pressures". Slowly I started beating it off slightly increasing the speed. My body began to flinch, and as I looked straight at Ann I came in an incredible orgasm, shooting my sperm all the way over the fence, even hitting slightly hitting Ann’s food. I tend to put value into those details. It took me a few seconds to comprehend the situation afterwards. But when it dawned on me and I was right there naked and in the middle of the situation. When there wasn't a trace of arousal encapsulating me, I was left only with shame. Shame and humiliation. It hit me like a rock, I had to get away from there, so that's what I did. I got up, and hastily grabbed my cloth and naked as the day I was born, I ran for it, towards the door and safe inside.

Seen in the backlight, I now get how Ann managed to keep her cool so well. After all, this was a piece of cake for her. This was flirtation. Kids play. Back then I had no clue to what degree Ann's arousal had driven her. See, the thoughts of Ann’s thoroughness and planned “random” erotic encounters rely on much later acquired knowledge. The days after the incident, I avoided Ann. To be completely honest I avoided her to a degree where it became embarrassing even to myself. I would look out the window for up to ten minutes before declaring the zone Ann-safe. I had come to the conclusion that if I never faced the only witness of my shameful act, I didn't have to acknowledge that it even happened, and thereby I felt shame-free. And I was good at it, I succeeded in not seeing Ann for more than a whole month. But finally, one day while returning from school she caught me. Like a mouse pins down a rat, she came in and greeted the bus driver, “how could she know I was there”. I panicked at the sight of her and tried to look out the window crouching behind the man in the seat in front of me. Like an ostrich in cartoons, I hid and expected the danger to pass. But it didn't, of course, Ann seated herself on the empty spot next to me, removing my back unto my lap, and there we sat. We were both quiet and I prayed that the silence would last. Only two stops left, and she still hadn't said a thing. Just as the bus pulled out from the second last stop she opened her mouth. "Strangely I just felt like taking the bus today". "Alright," I answered, trying not to flinch. Was that all; was the confrontation I so eagerly had been avoiding already over? Finally I could see the finish line, the last stop was straight ahead. I had made it, but then she opened her mouth. "Thanks for last time - I haven't seen you around in, strangely, over a month". "Sorry for that" I replied and stood up. The bus pulled over and I gestured a goodbye with my hands. Right before i walked out, she said “wait I have something for you". I glanced back and saw that she was holding a letter, I reached out my hand and took it and jumped out the bus. When I came home, I hastily opened the letter. Inside there was an almost blank paper except for a line written in the center with an extravagant handwriting. The letter said: ”I enjoyed watching you, and Id like to do it again. But this time we follow my rules. If you accept this you are mine for 12 hours. And remember this is a binding offer, yes or no, no turning back”. Instantly my body was relieving the shakes, and when the feeling that follows kicked in, and I felt the need to "unburdened myself of my pressures" raise, I knew she had me pinned. But when I said there are always consequences for giving into your lust, I meant it, for if I were to face the shame of the things I had in wait for me in those 12 hours, there would be no coming back. And I’m still awaiting judgement day. Because I was about to see just how far Ann's arousal had driven her. I was about to see 100% libido driven Ann. And I was going accept all that she had to offer, now I was convinced and certain, I knew it, I wanted her to unleash her most sinful fantasies on me, and I would obey, and I would do it all again, and I knew that, as I took a paper and wrote: “Yes, no turning back”

(Now i have thrown myself for the dogs, but it is only a presnack compared to what sinfull moments i have shared with Ann. If you liked the story leave a comment and encourage me to reveal the real shameful moments of our perverted relationship)